POWER PLAY: ORDINANCE MAKES SKATERS LAWBREAKERS

As long as there have been skaters, there have been police to run them off.

Though most modern-day thrashers have switched to in-line skates, 10 or 15 years ago all skatepunks were skateboarding aficionados.

Aside from the skateboard underneath their feet, skate punks of that period could be recognized by their goofy looking attire and even stranger haircuts.

When traveling in packs, skatepunks invariably had in their possession one of those boom-boxes the size of a large sow that were so popular during the '80s, loudly blaring Dirty Rotten Imbeciles, Circle Jerks or some other sound to terrify small children and old people and send everyone else scurrying for the nearest civil defense shelter.

Due to their looks, behavior, attitude and general habit of hopping their boards over benches and railings and other items not designed for such use, skaters were a prime target for cops.

You can't really blame the cops, though. While all skaters may not have been juvenile delinquents, many of those with whom I was acquainted were usually up to no good.

Since the explosion in popularity of in-line skating into the mainstream and among people of all ages -- even my 46-year-old dad routinely laces 'em up -- and backgrounds -- including Republicans, I thought the days of animosity between cops and skaters were over.

Considering this, it was a bit of a surprise to discover that in-line skating is a clandestine pasttime in the city of Jackson, with violations punishable by up to $500 in fines and 90 days in jail.

Adopted in 1985, this ordinance outlaws the use of roller skates and skateboards on city streets.

I will come clean at this point and admit that I have broken Jackson law on numerous occasions, though I was unaware of it at the time. I plan to turn myself over to the authorities immediately.

Jackson city administrator Steve Wilson explained the ordinance is intended to keep skaters from posing a hazard for motorists.

"We generally use that when we have people obstructing traffic," Wilson said. "We rather discourage kids from playing in the streets period, and I think it is a good deterrent to have an ordinance like that."

While he concedes the ordinance is "not used to a great extent" and that officers don't lay in wait to bust skaters -- he couldn't recall the last time someone was ticketed -- he won't guarantee that safe, law-abiding skaters who exercise good judgment and don't get in the way of motorists are safe from citation.

"We sure have that prerogative (to ticket any skaters), but it is not our general practice," Wilson said.

Jackson High School student Nathan Murray, an expert on the no-skating ordinance, told me that while he doesn't know of anyone who has been ticketed for skating, he and several friends have been hassled by Jackson officers for doing so on a number of occasions.

Cape Girardeau doesn't have an ordinance specifically targeting skaters, but does require anyone engaging in any sport or activity on a city street do so in a manner that doesn't interfere with traffic or pose a threat to property or someone else's life or safety.

Let that be a warning to you hardcore kickball players out there.

Bob Gowen, the city's prosecuting attorney, said well-behaved skaters have nothing to fear.

"Common sense says if someone is out skating, minding their own business and not causing any problems, obviously I'm not going to charge them," Gowen said.

He does, however, offer a caveat for would-be eight-wheel daredevils.

"If they are dodging cars and weaving in and out of traffic ... they will be cited and will be prosecuted," Gowen said. "That creates a serious danger. If a driver is forced to swerve to miss them, that could cause an accident and someone could die."

Except for psycho freestylers who do dangerous tricks in public places and scare the hell out of shopkeepers who fear a lawsuit, most in-line skaters are safe, at least as safe as one can be on skates.

Still, though the world changes, it's nice to know some things stay the same. A skater can still be shooed away.

Last month while visiting my brother at Southwest Missouri State University in Springfield, we went for a spin around campus.

While zinging through a parking garage, a campus cop pulled up and demanded to know if we were illiterate as he motioned to a sign which read "No Rollerblading."

We had moments before noticed the sign and were on our way, but I couldn't resist the urge to annoy him, just a little bit. Anyone who has attended college knows the special joy one gets from messing with a campus cop.

Since Rollerblade is a name brand of in-line skates and my brother and I were wearing Bauer in-line skates, I explained, we were not in violation of the posting. You can't Rollerblade if you're not wearing Rollerblades.

He ran us off anyway.

Marc Powers is a member of the Southeast Missourian news staff.