NEWS FROM AROUND THE GLOBE: A FINGER LICKIN' MASSACRE

News of the massacre of millions of chickens, turkeys and other poultry in and around Hong Kong have Buddhist monks praying to pacify the souls of the slain birds.

But sources have confirmed from the netherworld that the prayers aren't working and the dead chickens are staging a massive troop invasion of Hong Kong to free the remaining live birds.

Leading the fight is Col. Sanders, ironically Col. Sanders came back as a chicken after years of frying the birds.

The colonel was vague about what he planned to do, saying he had his own secret recipe cooking up to save the birds.

There is still some confusion among the ranks as to whether the other birds should follow Col. Sanders into battle considering he was public enemy number one before his reincarnation. Chickens still get a shiver down their spine every time someone says finger lickin' good.

Sanders said after he's done with Hong Kong he's going after Pepsico. "KFC my #$%&# I didn't work all my life so a couple of pencil necked corporate geeks could rename my company KFC," Sanders said.

And this sad note, it seems the San Diego Chicken was in Hong Kong bringing happiness to children their when he was detained by authorities. Sadly, we do not know the whereabouts of the famed mascot or whether he is still alive.

This just in, there's one heck of a sale on chicken at the Hong Kong KFC.

In other bird news, China claims to have found no cases of the mysterious bird flu in mainland China and in other news Chinese mainlanders are dropping like flies from the "common cold" state sources say.

Proof that Hong Kong is obviously satisfying its craving for chicken, millions of frogs have filed for disability as their legs, which coincidently taste like chicken, are selling like hot cakes in the streets of the city.

And in other news of a completely different nature...

The average rent in Moscow is soaring. Most recently the city ranks second in Europe for the highest rent.

Some reasons given for the high priced rent were unscrupulous landlords passing the high cost of paying Mafia protection money off on their unwitting tenants.

Another reason given for the high rent was also attributed to unsavory landlords wanting to get as much money as possible from their tenants before they're gunned down in the alley below.

And from the crap I wouldn't believe if you held a gun to my head file, "China Internet rules won't affect Hong Kong," a headline read in the China Today.