Living low on the human being

Sept. 14, 2006

Dear Pat,

Read no further if you are squeamish about insect bites. Why anybody would be is a mystery since human beings and other mammals are the breadbasket of the insect world, but some people don't like to think about that.

Parts of my body are polka-dotted with the carnage of a chigger feast, a party that has left me scratching and bleeding.

Chiggers like it moist, so they tend to congregate here in the Midwest and the South. You probably have little trouble with them in California, but then you have scorpions. Scorpions and chiggers are related.

DC and I both returned home from a recent adventure in the woods with masses of bites. That doesn't always happen when we go into the woods. Perhaps it was a good year for chiggers.

I've been getting chewed by chiggers since boyhood, so nothing about this experience is new. Nothing about it is pleasant, either.

Chiggers could star in a horror film. Their larval stage feeds only on flesh. It doesn't matter whose. They lie in wait on vegetation until an animal brushes by. Only one-50th of an inch in diameter, too small to be seen by the naked eye, they head for your nether regions. They like to feel secure. They like soft skin.

Here's the horrific part. Once they're found the sweet spot they want they inject a digestive enzyme into a pore or hair follicle. The enzyme liquefies your flesh and the chigger sucks up the protein it needs to become a nymph. If a film of this process ever was made, lots of people would start wearing haz-mat suits full time.

Like mosquitoes and fleas, chiggers make you wonder what the Creator was thinking when they were on the drawing board. Maybe they're reminders to us high and mighty human beings that something as seemingly inconsequential as a mite can bring us to our knees.

A better question might be to ask why chiggers have to have a purpose. It's their universe, too. They have a right to life, liberty and the pursuit of making humans unhappy.

The star of their horror film is a human who showers before they have a chance to have dinner. They're washed down the drain and eventually out to sea, where their bodies become part of the Gulf Stream and evaporate into the cosmos.

Some people apply clear nail polish to chigger bites. The polish cuts down on the itching but doesn't kill the chiggers. They usually have left by the time the itching starts.

Hydrocortisone salves are the recommended treatment. Basically you itch for a couple of weeks and then it feels really good when you don't.

Now that fall is coming the chigger adults begin nesting and feeding on organic matter. Before winter comes they will burrow into the earth for protection. In the spring they will return, and we will resume our role in the food chain.

Love, Sam

Sam Blackwell is managing editor of the Southeast Missourian.