LETTERS FROM HOME: WEIGHED DOWN WITH THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF GOING ON VACATION

Feb. 26, 1998

Dear Pat,

One of the growth experiences of going on a trip is trusting your friends or family to take care of your responsibilities while you're away.

Sometimes the growth is painful.

I still cringe about leaving a candle burning while staying at my friend Julie's house during one of her vacations 10 years ago. Nothing caught fire, but the candle was on a tin plate that became hot and left a black ring in her redwood windowsill.

Mortified, I consulted a carpenter and did my feverish best to sand the ring away, but it wouldn't disappear. So I left her a note of deepest apology and offered to replace the woodwork.

Her response: Laughter, and curiosity about whose phone number was scrawled on the label of her Courvoisier bottle.

Ever since then I have trod upon foreign floors with the utmost consideration.

DC's parents just returned from a five-week trip. Midway through she discovered a note in the basement instructing her to feed the tenants in her father's worm farm.

She thought they'd already be dead, but they could still crawl.

But a worm farm is not like an ant farm. They're being fattened up for the fishing season. You don't want scrawny worms.

Not knowing precisely what worms normally eat, DC gave them bread and fresh vegetables. I think worms like their food more on the decayed side, but these somehow survived.

Between worm feedings, DC hosted a party at her parents house. That's because their house was sparkling. People clean their houses really well when they go on vacation because:

a) They'll be having guests who can look anywhere they want to.

b) They don't want to return from a renewing journey to find the same old slobs live there.

It wasn't a wild party, but the dishwasher did overflow, necessitating a visit from a plumber. Nobody ever gets away with anything.

DC and I are going on a trip next month, leaving Hank, Lucy and six birds in the hands of our parents. Though these people raised us, I doubt DC thinks they are qualified to tend her flock.

She's been experimenting to see exactly how long the birds can go without having to replenish their food.

She's also sure Hank won't get the special attention a dog of his emotional instability needs. And that Lucy will take advantage of him, hogging all the food unless someone is vigilant.

Besides, the parents don't know the secret phrase that sends them into paroxysms of delight, because they know it means they're about to go for a walk through the neighborhood.

I tell her we're lucky anyone is willing to do the job. Aside from our parents and dog trainer, nobody should be trusted alone with Hank without Mace.

I look at vacations as a chance to see your life from an entirely new perspective, without the material things and job you tend to identify with. All that you take to a far-off place is the real you, and sometimes you're surprised by who you've become since the last time you checked in.

DC does not necessarily share my opinion. She says she plans to board up the back windows in case a tornado descends during our absence. She's afraid the combination of breaking glass, wind and rain will ruin our computer.

DC doesn't think of going on a vacation as a growth experience at all.

Love, Sam

~Sam Blackwell is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.