LETTERS FROM HOME: POWDER BLUES, BROKEN BONES, ROCK 'N' ROLL OF MALE BONDING

Nov. 30, 2000

Dear Patty,

My oldest friend just turned 50. His wife threw a surprise party where he and some of his musician friends jammed the night away.

Everybody seems to have a friend like Brad, someone you are having a lifelong conversation with even though you speak only every few months or years.

Brad and I have shared some uniquely male bonding experiences since the second grade at Jefferson Elementary School.

We both sang in the boys choir directed by our piano-playing principal, Lyda B. Gibbs, who dressed us in powder blue robes with dark blue bows around the neck and showed us off to all the church ladies.

In the sixth grade I secretly pined for Brad's girlfriend, Sherry, the situation providing my first experience with jealousy.

Brad broke his collarbone getting tackled in a backyard football game one Saturday. "I think I broke something," he said. The rest of us laughed. He didn't. "Mom!"

Brad hosted the class's first boy-girl party at his house. Many of us boys were still too shy to dance, so since we'd just seen "West Side Story" we walked around snapping our fingers.

In the seventh grade, Brad shocked me. He made out with an older woman -- an eighth-grader.

In high school he fell in love with the electric bass and with rock 'n' roll. When others quit their bands to go to college or start working regular jobs, "Boogie" plugged in and on. As someone at the party pointed out, he always played with the best bands.

His last band, Fletcher, was regionally popular, but when children and health insurance became more important, Brad gave up the rock 'n' roll life and took a job with a music equipment company. He's the vice president now.

The company does have its own rock 'n' roll band.

Part of the band was on stage with Brad at the party, and they got into a groove that started throwing off sparks. I had forgotten how exhilarating live rock 'n' roll can be.

DC left the party to fetch our visiting nieces and nephew. She wanted them to see this and feel this. "This is one of those moments," she said.

One by one, some of Brad's friends mounted the stage to say something about him. One told a story about a potentially dangerous accident and thanked Brad for saving his life.

Thereafter, everyone's story ended with Brad saving his life.

That's male bonding for you.

Love, Sam