LETTERS FROM HOME: MARIANNE FAITHFULL AND THE HOLY GRAIL

Jan. 19, 1995

Dear David,

Marianne Faithfull has been on my mind lately. You remember her, I'm sure. "As Tears Go By," London scene-maker, angel in the first degree, the rock 'n' roll fantasy girl who inspired so many Stones songs from the '60s. She's a pretty good if cruel writer, even if her autobiography is one of those "with" books. I suspect that's because she's taken far too many drugs.

MF: "Life is fragmented, not art."

She's clean now, but finding her way took most of the '60s, '70s and '80s. She had a real hard time figuring out who she was. Pop singer, baroness' daughter, Mick Jagger's girlfriend, well-educated convent girl, seductress? Managers, Rolling Stones, fans and the tabloids all had their versions of Marianne. I always figured somebody gave her the last name. True. Her father, Glynn Faithfull.

But nobody knew her. It must have been a vortex to a teen-ager who was faking all of it -- especially the sophistication.

The culture believed drugs to be the doors of perception, and they did provide insights into the elastic nature of reality. But after all the times passing out in her soup, all the confused couplings (What do you think became of the Holy Grail? she asked each new partner) and drug-induced orgies (she never really liked sex), the junkie years spent sitting on a wall in a London ghetto, and the suicide attempts, she concludes that drugs are a mask that both hides and entraps the user.

The book's great fun is the walk through the wax museum of the '60s and '70s. There's Dylan, rock god playing the artiste, trying to seduce her. Unsuccessful because she's pregnant and about to marry. Dylan rips up a poem, inferring it was "hers," and throws her out.

And there's Allen Ginsburg, who thinks all of Dylan's songs are about him. She says only one: "Just Like a Woman."

Jagger comes off the preening narcissist -- surprise -- always searching for just the right female satellite. Once she began tipping over at jet-set soirees he required Bianca's style. Marianne overheard Jagger and his manager plotting the end of their relationship.

Keith Richards she loves. "Bourbon to hand, switchblade to boot, guitar across his back and the law at his heels -- Keith Richards is rock 'n' roll." Still searching for the Grail, still thinking he'll find it in a chemical.

The book reminded me of the band we played in then, the girls who were appended to bands, and the rock 'n' roll thrills being acted out all over the Western world at the time.

We all wanted to be or be with the Rolling Stones or some other idols, just as 10 years earlier we wanted to be Mickey Mantle or hand him his glove.

Marianne Faithfulls, Mick Jaggers and Keith Richardses could be found at the business end of some dance hall in every town, all making up the rules in pursuit of fame or glory or something holy. These guys just did it grander, better and over the top.

Marianne never found her Forrest Gump. She made a good comeback in 1979 as the world-weary chanteuse, rock's Marlene Dietrich, singing tunes that felt like the backside of a hand, and looking a bit damaged. We like that.

These days she lives in Ireland, alone, getting to know herself at last by telling her secrets to the world.

Love, Sam

~Sam Blackwell is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.