Let's visit

I was visiting with a friend the other day, and we got to talking about what we visit about. Normally it's about what we have in common and what we differ on as well. When I call a gardening friend, we talk about gardening, the weather, our health and about our friends. We have quite a bit to visit about, but when you throw out our common interest in gardening, we don't have that much to visit about. This gardening buddy and I have spent quite a bit of time together talking and drinking coffee and doing nothing. It's all right if it's quiet. We are both OK with that. We simply enjoy being with each other.

So what do you and your acquaintances or friends or even best friends talk about? Could it be a wife or a husband? Might be a boyfriend or girlfriend? Or could it be the kids or grandkids or even great-great grandkids? Maybe it's fishing or hunting? Maybe it's work-related? Maybe it's food? Maybe church? Who knows -- it could be anything.

One topic I visit with several about is my interest in roasting coffee. There are quite a few who roast coffee, and the main difference between us is the size of the roaster. Some roasters will roast 1 to 1.5 ounces, some half a pound, some 10 pounds and some a whole bag of green coffee beans which is 130 pounds or so. I roast about 10 ounces at a time. A good friend of mine likes dark roast and I prefer medium roast just past first crack. So we talk coffee. At times we talk the weather or the gardening and so on. Two topics that come up are politics and COVID-19.

For many a conversation back in 2020 to 2022 COVID was the main topic. Getting the shots, the boosters, talking about the symptoms when we got COVID and wearing the masks was always brought up. Isolating oneself from the general public was a topic of discussion. Picking up ones groceries at the curb was a good topic of discussion. COVID provided a plethora of topics to discuss. So was politics. Politics was a volatile topic, though. At times having a conversation about politics would get real heated real fast.

Age is a real barrier to many who visit with elderly people or those who want to visit with the elderly. Many times we visit about what we do or where we go or what activities we frequent. A topic that many discuss is where we work and what we do. Most elderly will be retired. Many times the elderly aren't engaged in activities. The elderly watch TV, maybe do puzzles, maybe do Facebook, maybe do bingo, etc. Topics of discussion are limited. One can visit with the elderly about one's health or how one has been feeling. Maybe topics pertaining to food or personal hygiene or exercise or hearing or eyesight.

On the other end is visiting with the kids or the youth. I'm in the old age group, so I see the kids and youth infatuated with electronics or weird music and weird dancing. These young folks have their own particular food and activities. They even have places to shop and eat that are directed toward the youth.

So do we throw in the towel and just sit in silence and not even try to visit with those around us? I don't think that's best. First step is to open up a conversation about the obvious which is their age. Children and youth are school or college. Middle age is work and marriage and kids. Old timers can be work or retired and maybe volunteer work. A good topic for all ages is their favorite food or place to eat or favorite drink.

To visit is kind of a lost art. Neighbors back then would sit around the kitchen table and visit over coffee or unsweetened iced tea without the interruptions common today. Try it. Get together with friends or even strangers, face across a four foot card table from someone, no phones or music, no noise, and visit. Eye ball to eye ball and visit.