LEND ME YOUR EAR: `TORMENDOUS' EFFORT TO CHANGE FACE OF ENGLISH

Time to congratulate teachers in our vicinity again for respecting their charges enough not to refer to them as "kids." One would assume that our nation's educators and educationists who place self-esteem first would realize that "kids" is a self-effacing term. Respect for our Mother Tongue appears to have been lost in the horse-latitudes of educationese. (Mixed metaphors permitted if recognized!)

Nonetheless, we find a measure of comfort in noting that most of Cape County's teachers opt for words such as child, children, tots, youngsters, and young people. And we take vast pride in learning that our school children rate high nationally in academic achievement. Is there a connection?

We also note with satisfaction that even the computer-obsessed who boast of changing the face of education have not up to now endorsed new meanings for all the words they have retained. "Access," for example, has become a buzz word that, unlike "surf," has only one meaning in both languages.

Recently, a critic writing in a slick I have access to asked readers "Are we re-inventing English, or are we erasing it?" One advantage in having been "elocuted" in our childhood (not "kidhood") was that we learned how to pronounce, articulate, and enunciate clearly. Never mind the artificial stress on gesture in the recitations our families and friends had to endure. At least our interpretations clarified meaning, and helped us spell what we heard ourselves recite.

Regretfully, a number of today's achievers are mumblers when called upon to speak to audiences, and many of our radio and TV staffers deliver so poorly, we sometimes have to guess at the words they use. Competing noises miscalled music could be a factor. Hard rock and heavy metal take their toll, which is why hosts of half-deaf purveyors of commercials shout at us over the air. They can't hear themselves speak and suppose their viewers are in the same boat, to coin a phrase that dates us.

Examples are always in order. Recently, a sportscaster stated that they continue to have "tormendous" crowds at Sunday games. Was he thinking of "tremendous", or did he consider the crowds "torments" to the players and themselves? He was not trying for a play on words.

Nor are we, in censuring the indifference to clear communication. Too many mortals have less respect for the language they use than for themselves or others, not realizing they are judged by the way they use words. A regular on radio has informed us that a group of citizens is meeting "to encounter for the privilege" of turning the vacant building into a school. In our book, "encounter" means to argue against, not to gain a privilege.

Some Sundays ago, on Charles Osgood's Sunday Morning, a long-winded speaker, observing a break for a commercial, promised to return "consequently." He meant "subsequently," though "in a moment" would have sounded better. As we have written before, this misunderstanding is shown in the wide use of "momentarily" when the speaker or writer means "in a moment"; not "for the moment."

"On CNN, a juror explained how difficult it was for the judges to decide whether "to canonize Weaver, or perverse." In today's fashion world, wood, metal, diamonds and rope are placed together on purpose in clothing and jewelry -- for "style." But a discordant bead in a necklace of language ill-becomes anyone whose life and living depend upon the way he strings words together.

Which brings us back to respect for the language. Statistics reveal that children the country over score low in language arts. But if our educators and their deeply-troubled confederates have so little regard for respectful terminology, small wonder that civic groups devoted to turning the lives of problem children around give no thought to this discrepancy.

Support groups for every known human condition continue to flood the marketplace. If today's youngsters are turning their elders prematurely gray, why not a support group to change the faces of those suffering "tormentous" disrespect for acceptable English?

~Aileen Lorberg is a language columnist for the Southeast Missourian.