LEND ME YOUR EAR: EDUCATION HAS MILES TO GO ON PAPER BEFORE LESS BECOMES MORE

To readers who have missed seeing Lend Me Your Ear, one gracious lady wrote that she never misses my columns. Her request for the distinction between "healthy" and "healthful," however, told me she meant she always reads them. Perhaps the commercials for Healthy Choice products prompted her query.

Simply stated, people are "healthy" or "unhealthy," foods are "healthful" -- full of health or "unhealthy." An article in the January issue of Reader's Digest elaborated on the subject. I've done it to death in earlier columns, but my information seems not to have reached or impressed many usage-conscious readers.

Another correspondent wanted to know why some people say "I could care less" when they mean they "couldn't care less." Language mavens have been wondering for years. A number of callers keep asking why radio and TV speakers keep yelling at us. Probably because they are half deaf from the effects of hard rock and heavy metal, and can't even hear themselves speak unless they yell.

My friend at Medical Arts, Herman Koenig, was concerned about the meaning of "forego," also spelled "forgo." Most Webster's dictionaries define the term as "going before." Herman and I use it chiefly in the sense of "abstaining," and we spell it "forego." Webster's Ninth New, to our delight, agrees with us.

A Speak Out contributor directed our attention to the mushrooming of "re-invent," pointing out that dictionaries fail to list the word. Through overuse, it seems, "re-invent" has become so entrenched in our language that I see little hope of its demise.

An article in U.S. News and World Report (Dec. 26, 1994-Jan. 2, 1995, issue) consists of buzzwords that are expected to shape our world in 1995. One word that seems sure to prevail is "Clintonesque," a natural outgrowth of "Carteresque." The suffix denotes a style of leadership by politicians trying to smile or grin their way through half measures they are unable to put into final form. An oft-quoted critic stated years ago that if all the world economists were laid end to end, they couldn't reach a conclusion. Know any American politicians who qualify as economists?

The word "kooshing" is believed to be familiar to college graduates searching for jobs. They use it as slang for rejecting a candidate for a special job. Actually, the term derives from "koosh ball" -- a game played with a ball covered with plastic spikes that are considered harmless. A graduate with a goal is not likely to be affected by being "kooshed." Rejections are harmless to achievers with imagination.

"Devolution" was once used by our pastor to describe devil's work. Currently, it means the delegating of power held by central governments to locals, and was intended to signify an end to unfunded mandates from Washington. Congress has already dashed such hopes, but the year is young and other legislators are protesting, and overuse of the term has become boring.

"Digerati" is a coinage that refers to computer experts who dote on their machines, much as the "literati" dote on first editions of the classics. As a long-time member of the literati though I own only two first editions, I am not likely to drop my membership even if I change my attitude toward computers. I don't dig the "digerati," they don't dig me.

"Infobahn," inspired by the German word "bahn" as in "autobahn," meaning highway, is a nickname for "information highway." This demon contrivance is defined by a U.S. News analyst as "an intricate web of communications networks consisting of telephone, computer, TV, satellite," and the Lord only knows what is still to be invented. The web is officially known as Internet.

Our nation's schools, including our own, are now being connected with MOREnet, providing access to Internet to give teachers and students information around the world. Up to now, the more net in classrooms, the lower student scores in basic education. Computer experts have failed to consider brain power and basic skills as essential components of learning. Remember textbooks? Remember paper?

Even the creators of the microwave oven understand the value of paper. Just cover dinner with a piece of paper, punch the 2, and dinner will be ready in two minutes.

Unfortunately, learning how to think and communicate clearly takes longer than two minutes. And I am not alone in feeling education has miles to go on paper before less becomes MORE.

~Aileen Lorberg is a language columnist for the Southeast Missourian.