LEND ME YOUR EAR: BODY LANGUAGE NOT ALWAYS RELEVANT

Today's column is chiefly a review or a test, at least for long-time readers. Late-comers have been exposed briefly to most of the violations in the examples given below. See what you can make of them and how to change for the better. All are authentic, written or spoken.

Would any of you object to us giving out this information?

Last October a very unique answer came from an alumnus in El Paso.

This tells the Israelis where they are at.

Kuwait is not that big of a country to cover.

Any information on the amount of casualties to date?

These kinds of students run away from home every 24 hours.

It would be neat if life was that tidy, but it isn't.

If the man who spoke were ever a teacher, his English belied it.

I know I should have laid out and tanned over the weekend.

We'll give you that report momentarily.

Southtown Tabernacle Presents It's Annual Pack-a-Pew Rally.

My background is probably different than a lot of people.

Either fat is not healthy.

He didn't know who's book he had.

Him whom we worship today was human as well as godly.

The man on the bench in the bus station wokened up.

I was thinking to myself that I should tell Aunt Leona.

For Vital Signs and I, (perhaps) have a good day. (Friend who relayed this couldn't wait to call me, and missed the precise Godspeed.

At the time of her death, she could only act by lip-reading.

You can moral this for the rest of your life.

These are questions whom you have every right to ask.

I'll try and think of something.

Where did you get it from?

Given minimal corrections, these examples should read:

Would any of you object to our giving out this information?

Last October a unique answer came from an alumnus in El Paso.

This tells the Israelis where they are.

Kuwait is not that big a country to cover.

Any information on the number of casualties to date?

Every 24 hours, one or another student of this kind runs away from home.

It would be neat if life were that tidy, but it isn't.

If the man who spoke was ever a teacher, his English belied it.

I know I should have lain out and tanned over the weekend.

We'll give you that report presently (or in a moment).

Southtown Tabernacle Presents Its Annual Pack-a-Pew Rally.

My background is probably different from that of a lot of people.

Neither fat is healthful.

He didn't know whose book he had.

He whom we worship today was human as well as godly.

The man on the bench in the bus station woke up.

I was thinking that I should tell Aunt Leona.

For Vital Signs and me, have a good day (or whatever).

At the time of her death, she could act only by lip-reading.

You can moralize about this for the rest of your life.

These are questions (which, that) you have every right to ask.

I'll try to think of something.

Where did you get it?

If you've watched the commercial featuring an over-sophisticated lady borrowing coffee from a gentleman who assures her his coffee is as sophisticated as she, and the follow-up in which she returns with another jar and an air no gentleman could mistake, you are probably familiar with the last two examples presented.

Any questions? Not about the two pretenders giving the commercial. Just about our corrections. Sophistication shows in the language we use. To experts in the field, body language doesn't count.

Note on last week's column, "Let's give spelling its just deserts." Paragraph three didn't get its just deserts! The three similar spellings were limpid, limpet and limped.

HAPPY EASTER!