LEND ME YOUR EAR

First, let me congratulate Robert Novak on reminding President Bush, albeit indirectly, that the young men and women serving our country in the Middle East are young adults, not kids. Many are married and have children. "Self-respect precludes `kids' as young adults," the well-known commentator finished. Amen to that!

Congratulations are definitely in order for Marva Collins, who runs a school for slow learners and the disadvantaged in Chicago. "Doing as other children do is not always appropriate," Ms. Collins informed her charges. A young teacher who uses "as" even where "like" is now acceptable to the masses, who in the same brief sentence tries to instill proper behavior in her pupils, and refers to them as children instead of "kids", deserves commendation on three counts.

Senator Patrick Leahy of Vermont pleased me mightily when I heard him advise his cohorts and constituents to "try to" realize what he wanted to do to help the cause. Is it necessary for me to repeat my objection to "try and"?

However, I owe an apology for failing to teach politicians and laymen how to pronounce "electoral." It's e-LEK-tur-ul, not e-lek-TOR-yul, as a good many speakers seem to think. I have also failed to get across to sportscasters, weathermen, and Touchstone Pictures that no one is mis-CHEE-vi-us. The word "mischievous" has only three syllables: "MIS-chu-vus.

Announcers of church services need to know churches offer PAS-tur-al advice to those who desire it, not pas-TOR-i-ul. The word "pastoral" also contains only three syllables. Medical reporters make the same mistake in pronouncing "intravenous." There is no "i" between the "n" and "o." The word is pronounced in-tra-VEE-nus. Nor is there an extra "i" in "grievous." We pronounce it GREE-vus, not GREE-vi-us.

Almost everyone who has finished primary school can count to a hundred, but legions mispronounce the word. It's HUN-dred, not HUN-derd, or HUN-erd.

Some time ago, a psychologist who declared guidance counselors essential in the schools of today called them GUY-a-dunce counselors. There are only two syllables in the word "guidance" GUY-dunce. We also hear NOO-a-sunce for "nuisance." If you consider me a nuisance, please pronounce me a NOO-sunce. I've been called worse.

Someone reporting on a burglary recently informed his radio audience that the burglar managed to "elade" officers. The word, Mr. Announcer, is "elude," pronounced ee-LOOD.

Bill Plante, one of our top-flight newsmen, gave me a shock a little while back when he declared that "the trouble with Israel is like a MEER-ij. "Mirage," dear Mr. Plante, is pronounced mer-AZGH. But perhaps if we were trying to deal with the problem, we'd be careless of how we expressed ourselves too.

Unless my notes mislead me, it was Harry Smith who in an interview with an author brought up the question of plagiarism, referring to it as pa-LAY-jer-ism again and again. Despite the author's attempt to correct him by pronouncing the word correctly PLAY-jer-ism every time it surfaced, Harry continued to insert the extra sound between the "p" and "i." Listen up, Harry!

Having begun this column with congratulations to one speaker at the expense of another, let me close on a wholly positive note about a lady whose name I never knew until the Lockerbie tragedy shocked our world. Of all the speakers it has been my privilege (or sorrow) to hear over the air, the most well-spoken from the standpoint of syntax and pronunciation is the Scots lady Ann McLaughlin, Commission Chairman on the PanAmerican Lockerbie disaster. I recorded only one example: "Misinformation is the reason for our failing to meet standards set by airlines." She used all parts of speech correctly and wasted not a single word during her half-hour interview. This, of course, is the Scottish way.