LEND ME YOUR EAR

Readers of these columns may recall the one in which I censured Bill Clinton's "Give Al Gore and I a chance." In Time magazine's Letters to the Editor, Aug. 31, a section titled "The I's Don't Have It" was devoted entirely to Clinton's plea to give Al Gore and I a chance. The section closes with a comment made by one Kenneth Dale of West Linn, Ore.: "Give I a break!" For the most part, however, the media ignore Clinton's gaffes. It figures.

A reader who signed herself "A Fan" has enclosed a clipping from a recent issue of The Missourian. Her note consisted of two questions: "Did you miss this from our best scholarly students? Or am I wrong to be offended at this wording?" The words she had underlined were "I went and talked to my guidance counselor."

Coming from the top two percent of high school graduates in the country, went and talked to had also given me a start. But is it fair to judge 14,000 Merit Scholars by a single lapse from one? The 17-year-old may have been so disconcerted by the prospect of being quoted in a newspaper, he reverted to an expression long familiar to him. In which case we should give him a break.

Undergraduates aside, I never cease to question usages of every kind committed by persons of every age and walk of life, especially those in public life and those whose living depends upon their ability to express themselves clearly. On a recent political panel of well-known personalities, one member, speaking of the trouble between the Israelis and Palestinians, declared, "Everything I hear has no basis." The general rule is to begin on a positive note. However, the speaker's gist was negative, and his meaning would have been clear at the start had he said, "Nothing I hear has any basis."

The same offense against instant clarity is illustrated in a commercial we hear on TV: "All index bonds are not created equally." "Equally" also seems out of line, as is "easily" in another pronouncement: "This makes it very easily for AT&T to check our calls." We need laws to make it "hardlier."

On a late-night talk show, a host explained a situation between two lovers in the words: "He wants to avoid her from losing her identity." Avoid is not a synonym for "prevent", and we find it difficult to believe a talk-show host could know so little about common usage.

"Prevent" was used correctly in a query about an anti-drug specialist: "Does he know how to prevent children to go to those places?" But the speaker shows a sad lack of direction in the use of prepositions as well as idiom. We should try to prevent children "from going" to unsavory places. Idiom and a sense of direction prohibit our preventing them "to go."

A prominent newscaster, referring to the upcoming marriage of two celebrities, informed radio listeners that it would be "the second marriage for each." Why each? Why not both? To separate the two destined for marriage the second time around is almost inviting divorce before the hitching!

According to a TV commentator, "Henry Hyde is a man for whom I respect." The newsman would do well to either respect Henry Hyde without interference from a stray preposition, or nominate Hyde as a man "for whom" he has respect.

In a trial against a clergyman as presented on TV, the defendant argued, "Why would I lie and jeopardize me from Paradise?" The accused may have feared he would jeopardize his chance by lying, but his use of me for the reflexive myself was another strike against him. To be fair, knowledge of proper English is not a ticket of admission to Paradise for anyone, but it seems it should be for a clergyman who preaches salvation to English- or American English-schooled natives. Failing in this, he places both himself and his cause in jeopardy.

For more than a week, a radio announcer pressured his listeners to get their driver's "licent" as soon as possible. He now informs us that a new tax bill will cost everyone a half-cents more. On TV, we've heard that "apples are more heartier than peaches." And the news has just been relayed to us about "the 10 most richest men."

Through a notice printed on a TV screen, viewers learned that Bush's economy is GETTING WORST. On this lamentable note, let us call a halt lest our column suffer the fate of the economy and get even worster.