LEND ME YOU EAR: `RECIPITANTS' MAY OR MAY NOT `RECIPITATE"

Today, instead of limiting our subject matter to special constructions, we offer another mix of bloopers that seem too timely to bypass.

In a report on the floods caused by the overflowing Mighty MO and its various tributaries, a CBS networker announced that the water "creeped" into people's houses before they could move out.

The past tense of "creep" is "crept." Today we creep, yesterday we crept, but we have never "creeped" even after a bad fall. Nor has water "creeped" into houses any more than children have "sleeped" since early childhood. Nonetheless, water might have "seeped" through a barely-opened window or entrance. Gentle readers, add this inconsistency to your personal information highway. You won't find it by surfing the Internet, which replaces language with inappropriate nonsense miscalled Education.

According to a newspaper article, a truck sank into a shallow stream a little while back, and killed two passengers. The writer stated the truck was found "in a ditch filled with water by a police detective." Surely the detective had no cause to fill a ditch with water at a time when the heavens above were providing the most avid fishermen with ditches filled to overflowing wherever a truck could travel.

Some weeks ago, a foreign correspondent informed us over TV of an accident that sank a ferry in Jersey Island, a township between England and France. The writer added it was not yet known how many passengers had "drownded," but the matter was being "perused." As most of us learned in grade school, the past tense of "drown" is "drowned" -- one syllable. Moreover, we believe the matter was being "pursued," a stronger, broader term than "perused."

On Charles Osgood's "Sunday Morning" May 28, an employee of Delta Airlines assured viewers of the excellence of their service while conceding it was "not something you can win a medal." Shortly before, on a sister station, we were invited to attend a reception "that will be honored this evening." Seldom is anyone invited to honor a reception. Reception, thy name is Unclear, not "something you can win a gold medal."

During a very early-morning radio broadcast, we learned that two children died in a plane crash when they were "e-jaded" from the plane. Perhaps that was the way "ejected" appeared on the script, and the staffer had to begin before she was fully awake. At least we hope.

Then there was a scoop on NBC about a highly-regarded day care center where children were being abused. The announcer said "at least one children died." Let us pray that "more childs" have not met with the same grim fate.

In Peopletalk May 30, we read that superstar Christopher Reeve's future was not yet predictable after that brutal fall from his horse. This was what his publicist "said in a statement." To everyone's regret, the writer explained that "neither her nor the officials would provide any more information."

I keep wondering why no one has ever called or written me about the redundancy "said in a statement." But I was knocked for a loop to find "her" appearing as the subject of a statement of any stamp. In a follow-up report, I learned that Reeve was still unable to "breath" on his own. All of us are still holding our "breathe."

Accidents of breath-taking severity doubtlessly contribute to such lopsided usage, especially if the victim is a famous person. I watched the recent Indy 500 race in which the noted actor-driver Stan Fox also came near death and is said to be still on the edge. One informant pointed out that Fox "hit the track very hardly." Actually, he hit the track with deadly force -- not barely or scarcely. Dictionaries permit the opposite interpretation, but hardly ever is the adverb "hardly" applied contrariwise.

To end on a more cheerful note, a radio staffer just announced that a law enforcement student is the "recipitant" of a scholarship presented at Southeast Missouri State University. We did not attend the affair, so are not qualified to say whether the recipient "recipitated" with a gracious nod, a smile, a tear, or pretended total indifference. Whatever her reaction, we congratulate her sincerely on the scholarship in her chosen field, and on her determination to help where help is needed most.

Aileen Lorberg is a language columnist for the Southeast Missourian.