JOY ALONG THE WAY: HOLIDAY SHOPPING: OFF TO A 'LOVING' START

Just as I had honed my tactics for gaining attention while shopping in the larger stores, I now find such help and attention almost at arm's length. Without any help from reminders of what season we are entering, I can tell by the attention I get as soon as I step through the stores' doors. It is the beginning of the Christmas shopping season although Thanksgiving enters in there somewhere along the way.

I've been practicing on how to get this kind of attention and help, say in February, May, August. This is how: I enter a door slowly and hesitantly, sometimes even going back out to read what it might say on the door, as if I'm not quite sure of what store it is, hoping some cash register operator or clerk might see me. Once inside I walk slowly by a cash register operator. They are the only ones who seem to be working in the store. I turn around and walk a few steps toward the door as if I've really got the wrong store, stop, shade my eyes against any light there might be shining in my eyes, arrange my face so that it appears completely bewildered. This almost assures me that very soon a clerk will be at my side asking if he/she can be of help. The feeling is like that of seeing your fishing cork suddenly disappear beneath the water."Yes," I reply "Where are the Teddy bears?" Or greeting cards, men's socks, bath towels, whatever it is I'm after."Take the aisle to the left," the clerk corrects.

I stand, humbly, as if I don't quite know right from left, even raise my right arm slightly as if testing my sense of left and right. I mumble something that sounds like I'm profoundly apologetic for the forlorn predicament I'm in. In extreme circumstances I ask, "Who is the manager of this store?" As if that had anything to do with my immediate situation. I peer at the clerk's name card if she/he has one. This usually prompts the clerk to say, "Here, follow me." Suddenly I'm all toned up and follow sprightly the quick steps of the leader. Thus I haven't wasted a lot of time compared to what it might take if I want a black and white striped man's shirt, size and sleeve length so and so, with buttoned down collar, and one made in the U.S.A. The one that was advertised in last week's paper with 10 percent additionally off the already sale price.

Last week I no sooner than entered a store's door when someone was at my side asking, "Can I help you?""Yes, I'm looking for a plain knit red sweater with mock turtle neck, zipper at neck back, drop shouldered, size medium, made of half cotton and half ramie or some other man-made fiber and made in the U.S.A.""Here we are, love," said the clerk, pulling out a red sweater with mock turtle neck, made in U.S.A., etc. I didn't have to shuffle through all those stacks of sweaters nor feel guilty at leaving them unfolded and out of place."Do you want to try it on, Honey?""Yes, please, Dear. I mean, yes, please.""Right over here, Sweet." She led the way to the trying on room, unzipped the zipper and shook out the sleeves, assuring me she would be right outside the door if I needed her. She was."Did it fit like you wanted?" she asked with loving concern."Yes.""Oh, great. I'm glad. This color is going to look just great on you, Dear."We made it to the cash register where she zipped through the credit card financial exchange. She handed me my receipt and called me by name as if she had known it all along. "You come and see us again, Hon." she invited."Oh, I will, Patty," I said, looking at her name tag.

Ah, holiday shopping. So much attention and endearment.

REJOICE!Jean Bell Mosley is an author and longtime resident of Cape Girardeau.