Inner life more important than outer beauty

"Oh, look, isn't this pretty? Does it have eggs in it?" asked 4-year-old Anthony, who lives with us. I looked to see what he was speaking of. It was a beautiful plant with a bird's nest in its branches. It was artificial!

"Can we buy some eggs to put in it?" the child said. Although Anthony is a child, I wonder how often we, too, are fooled by what's unreal.

The plant I'm talking about is a beautiful one -- flouting shades of green around the edges of its leaves with gorgeous strands of pink filling the centers. The realistic bird's nest sits below the branches above the false ground in the pot. Although I care little for artificial plants, they are sometimes stunning -- the main reason why I have the flower in my office. However, when I feel the dryness of the leaves, the phony dirt below, I realize I can't buy eggs that will hatch and bring life. I know all it will ever be is something pretty to look at.

I pitied Anthony because now, so many things in life are false. They are beautiful on the outside, but there's little substance on the inside. We continually see celebrities who are hospitalized for overdosing on drugs or alcohol. They would seemingly have everything, right? All appears to be perfect: There's too much money and lots of friends -- but are they false, too? People look for a prescription for happiness -- something to relieve the pain, alleviate the boredom, fill the void and give life meaning. Everything is beautiful on the outside, but what's underneath?

Children have almost always had stuffed toys. Rather than promoting that which is alive, we present children, and often adults, with counterfeit pets and toys. What is the message we're giving? Although it sometimes provides security for people to snuggle up with a teddy bear or doll, favorite blanket or pillow; those remedies are only temporary. There is no life within.

I visited a relative in a nursing home a few years ago. Stationed on Sue's window sill were numerous stuffed dolls and animals. However, Sue received few visitors. There's certainly nothing wrong with giving presents of that nature, but we must realize nothing takes the place of human contact.

We give life and names to cars and trucks now, too. I've heard of people calling their car Matilda or another name; there are more and more movies and stories giving life to things such as monster trucks. "Grave Digger" comes to mind. It's fun to name pets, toys, flowers and other items we treasure, but it's scary when we allow the pretend game to take the place of what's real, even though fantasy is a valuable tool in particular circumstances. We say "I love you," then don't back up our words. One merely needs to recognize the difference.

I pondered why we always must try to be something we're not, believing we'll be better accepted by others. Aren't we enough the way we already are? "God created man in his image; in the divine image he created him" Genesis 1:27. When we become genuine on the outside our true self becomes known, and rather than being rejected, others reach out to us. By allowing some of our cracks to show, we invite others to enter into our personal sanctuary. We don't always have to be beautiful on the surface. It's much better to be authentic than to always be performing, for then the stress of being found out is eliminated. We become outside what we are inside. By being genuine we radiate life -- unlike the beautiful but counterfeit plant in my office.

Ellen Shuck holds degrees in psychology, religious education and spiritual direction and provides spiritual direction to people at her office.