If it is You, bid us come

The other week at youth group, we were talking about fear and reading Matthew 14:22-32, the story of Jesus and Peter walking on water. One of the students observed the apostles are at first "terrified" because they have mistaken the identity of the figure walking toward them; they think it is a ghost. Once they realize it is the Lord, however, they are no longer afraid.

In order to find out if it is the Lord or a ghost, though, Peter has to get out of the boat. He gives the Lord his wild desire to walk on the water, asking Jesus to tell him to walk to him on the water if it is him. Jesus says, "Come," and Peter does. He gets scared again by this miraculous thing he is doing and cries out.

I love that both times the word "cry" is used, so is the word "immediately." The disciples cry out in fear, and "immediately" Jesus speaks to them, telling them to take courage, it is him, and to not be afraid. Then again, Peter cries out for the Lord to save him from sinking, and "immediately," Jesus reaches out his hand and catches him.

I love the words Jesus speaks to him next, so full of tenderness, friendship and love, with no hint of reproach, rebuke or shame, I imagine: "Oh you of little faith, why did you doubt?"

It's interesting to me that they don't keep walking on the water to their destination on the other side, like I would think they would. Instead, they walk back together to the boat, arm in arm, I imagine, back to their community of friends, so they can all be amazed and revel in the fact that now they know his identity: "Truly, you are the Son of God." They are no longer terrified, and they worship him there in the boat, together.

My student's observance about this story being a case of mistaken identity is so profound to me. Perfect love, the fullness of the desire of their hearts, their deepest friend who is proving himself and his love to them over and over again, is walking toward them, but they are so human with such limited experience and such limited trust in the possibility such deep goodness could be given to them it blinds them to the truth: they are being summoned as witnesses to something never seen before. They are being called to newness, to adventure, to more deep, deep goodness. It is invitation to go deeper in faith, to know, to recognize. Jesus wants to be with them.

This story allows me to ponder: How often do I become terrified when good things present themselves because I mistake the identity of my Savior walking toward me, thinking instead it is something that will harm me? How often do I mistake the Lord's identity and rather than taking his goodness at face value, question his motives as if he would try to trick me into failure? How often do I ask him to help me step out of the boat and trust he will immediately save me when I cry out from the depths of my very human reaction of fear?

Let us ask the Lord to reveal to us whether it is him or not in all of the potential miraculous circumstances of our lives. Let us ask for the courage to get out of the boat to find out, trusting that even if it is not the Lord, he will show us and be there with us to pick up our pieces, walking back with us into the boat.