Give or take

Time as we know it seems to just zoom along. Here it is the end of January and first part of February. Just months away, we'll be planting tomatoes and cucumbers. And as time goes by, people as we know them change. The people today are different from when I was a boy (1950s) or when my Dad was a boy (1900s). People in the 2000s are different as well. Good bad or indifferent, people have changed. Some of the changes have been for the good, and some for the bad. How we deal with our neighbors has changed.

When I was growing up, neighbors treated each other with respect. It was a common practice in the Sandhills of Nebraska to trade ground for ground to square up your place or to straighten up the fences. Someone may have a 40-acre or more piece of ground jogging out or in. So what the two adjoining neighbors would do is put the fence straight, letting each neighbor have the same number of acres but each using the other's land. This usually was for grazing land, so it ended up being a win win for both. Straight fences were shorter and a lot more manageable and easier to take care of. But this was an example of neighbors taking care of each other. In some parts of our country, this is still true but not everywhere.

Come spring, the calves all needed branded, so neighbor would help neighbor get the branding done. Shoot, one may help half a dozen neighbors every spring at branding time. Then come fall when it was time to sell the calves, neighbor would help neighbor gather them up and get them on trucks. Pretty common, and probably still is. But I wonder if this neighborly attitude is beginning to weaken.

Not that long ago, we surprised a couple who are friends of ours by pretty much showing up unannounced. I called or texted and asked if the coffee was on, and they sent back a reply that it would be in about 15 minutes. So we showed up in about 30 minutes. Didn't really want anything at all, they had come to my mind, and I decided to just go visit.

But as we sat and visited over cookies and coffee, I could see the wheels churning in their minds wondering why the visit. Maybe "What did we want?" Maybe wondering why we were there. They were wondering what was next. Marge and I could have simply enjoyed the visit and left leaving them in suspense. But I felt the need to simply say we were there to just visit. It seemed like the right thing to do, and then they relaxed and were relieved. We were there to visit.

Maybe this is a symptom or a sign that times are changing and being neighborly is not what it used to be. Today in many people's minds when someone comes to visit, the question comes up "Why?" or "How come they're here?" or "I wonder what they want?" If I hear from someone once or twice a year and then they show up, I tend to wonder if they are there to visit or why. After one or two phone calls or in person visits my mind is waiting for the real reason as to "What's up?" I wonder what they want. Oh, they may talk about the weather or the cattle or the church or friends, while here I am waiting for the shoe to drop when they ask for whatever.

There are bonafide legitimate reasons why some are in need, and I don't think that is a problem in the least. But whether we like it or not. our world has become a world of users with fewer and fewer givers. I'm afraid this trend will get worse and worse.

Each of us has some special friends we are close to. Might be wise to treat them with special care sharing life together on this journey. Those special friends need to be drawn closer, while some need to be slid away.

Good friends are hard to come by!