Getting old

By Rennie Phillips

All of us have experienced the death of a loved one in some way or another. My grandpa passed away unexpectedly when an artery busted inside him. His wife, my grandma, lived to be in her 90s before she seemed to die of old age. Not sure why she died but guess it was just old age. My dad passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack. Mom died of complications from old age and other things. And I've lost cousins and aunts and uncles and on and on. As I get older there are more kinfolk on the other side of death than on this side of life.

There are times when death seems so unfair. When a young person dies we say it's unfair. We've lost young adults in this area from RV accidents or even hunting related accidents. Some have died from car wrecks and such. Some have even committed suicide. Now and then someone will die from some type of sickness like cancer or such. Really sad when this occurs.

But there are times when life is unfair. When I watch a baby or young child who has some type of cancer it seems like life is very unfair. It's bad enough when an older person gets cancer or some serious life threatening disease but it's horrible when a young person or child gets the same disease. Doesn't seem fair. But it still happens and life goes on.

Marge's sister passed away a couple months ago at the age of 59. Didn't seem fair. Rhonda had spent her life helping family and friends even when it was hurting herself. Then my brother's wife passed away as well. I believe Linda was 67. Way too young. Both Rhonda and Linda had worked their lives and were at the place they could retire and travel and enjoy themselves. Didn't happen though. One thing we don't know is the date we will die. Should make us all want to get our eternity passport stamped and ready.

Many of us travel into old age with most of our faculties working. We have aches and pains and physical problems but for the most part we are fortunate. When I get up in the morning it takes a couple of cups of coffee to get my one hip to working. Doesn't hurt bad enough to take pain meds so I am fortunate. Years ago I threw my left elbow out pitching papers for one of our boys. But it's never been bad enough to get it fixed. Hurt my left shoulder doing something years ago. Probably rotator cuff but still not bad enough to get it fixed. So most of us can take some aspirin or Aleve or ibuprofen and it works fairly well. Many of us can still drive and live at home.

Some have decided to move into a retirement home where they can live with some assistance. These are really neat. For the most part the residents are free to come and go as they please. Free to go shop and attend events like trips to Nashville or Memphis or the movie theater and such. Many of the apartments have kitchenettes where they can do some cooking if they want. But many have dining accommodations if that is what floats their boat.

Most towns or neighborhoods have meals on wheels which we have here in Scott City. If you are shut in and can't get out meals will be delivered to your house by volunteers. If you are able, one can go to the nutrition center and eat there. It's suggested that one donate $3 for each meal but I believe this is a suggestion. Don't quote me on this but I believe so. Occasionally I'll go to the nutrition center and eat there. Pretty darn good meal. Most of the time I'm one of the younger ones there.

Some for some reason can't take care of themselves so these will most likely end up in a nursing home or care center. Some of these will have dementia or Alzheimer's while some will have physical problems as such they can't live alone. And for the most part these homes take good care of the residents. There will be times when they don't smell the best or even look the best but these times will happen. Staff will get overloaded with tasks and some will have to wait.

Saddest part for me is when some of those in the nursing homes are losing touch with reality and aren't able to maintain a level of dignity. Many don't recall who family members are. Many times when family visits their loved one or friend they will have soiled their diapers and will be needing assistance. The elderly loved one isn't aware of what's going on or even be aware of a problem. But even then the elderly loved one might have flashes of memory and realize the shape they are in and the sad condition.

If you have an elderly loved one spend as much time as you can with them while they still are alert and aware and still present if you will. Don't wait till sickness or dementia or whatever steals who they are. Smile when you hear the same story time after time. (Smile and forgive me when I write about the same thing a couple times.) Make a memory book with pictures to help keep their memories alive and active. Do things with them even if it's going out for a burger and fries or a sundae. Make sure they can go to church. Take them shopping for a new outfit. Go to a movie. Do things to keep their minds and bodies active.

As our loved ones reach the end of their lives lets live our lives in such a way that we can look back and not be burdened with regrets.