Faith on a doubting day

By Mia Pohlman

From the cross, the last words that Jesus cries are, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

These are powerful words that Jesus gives to us in Mark 15:34, words that liberate us from the need to pretend before our God. This prayer is one that at once questions, as well as demonstrates profound faith. When we need grit and permission to bring all of ourselves -- even our doubts -- before our God, we can take these words as our example. We can also take as an example Jesus' trust in his Father's care for him and his earnest questions, which these words also display.

Seven songs for doubting days that resonate deeply with me are "Do You Really" and "Sometimes I Wonder," by Zach Winters; "Believe," by Mumford and Sons; "You Have Me," by Gungor; "I Am," by Jill Phillips; and "Arrow," and "Dream" by Levv.

I love that these songs are gritty and real. They don't hold back parts of the speaker's self for the appearance of niceties; they are there in the dirt with God, questioning and inviting God in. Despite not knowing or feeling the details, they still place their trust in a God who calls himself I AM. They echo the sentiment of the father in Mark 9:24 who cries out, "I believe; help my unbelief!"

God does help our unbelief, encouraging us in his love. Jesus, too, is encouraged by others' actions. In Mark 14:3-9, before Jesus is crucified, before he is betrayed, before he gives his body and blood to his disciples at the Last Supper, a woman anoints him, and it touches Jesus deeply. Maybe the reason that this woman's anointment of Jesus resonates within him so deeply is because through this act she shows her faith in him being the Messiah. Through breaking her alabaster jar of expensive perfume for Jesus, she shows her faith in his words that he is going to die and be raised up.

Even more, perhaps this woman's belief in him gave him courage to carry on and do what he knew he was being called to do. This woman didn't say that she would stay with him like the disciples said and then failed to do; instead, she said nothing because she knew she couldn't go with him. Rather, by her action of breaking what she had, she showed her deep understanding of Jesus' situation. And she showed her support of him in it, her gratitude to him for it. She knew it should have been her. Jesus is grateful to her; sometimes we all need someone to believe in us.

We are called to take up our cross and follow Jesus; we are called to be like Jesus. That means that we can be honest with God and bring all of our questions to him, trusting that he loves us and is -- our feelings and perceptions cannot change these two truths.