ENJOYING THE OUTDOORS: RESIST THE URGE TO ASSIST BABY CRITTERS IN THE WILD

In the context of the wild, adopting an apparent orphan more accurately may amount to kidnapping -- and in the long run it could represent murder.

The natural cycle of things means that, with spring well underway, many species of animals now are beginning to produce offspring. The timing is logical: Baby critters appear at the time when weather conditions are easing and life is most gentle, giving them months to mature and grow hardy before the harsher winter stresses return.

With numbers of wild babes appearing, inevitably some of them come into contact with people. The first inclination of many of the humans is to rescue the young creature.

Trouble is, many or most of those "orphan" animals aren't really orphaned. Mom many be close by in hiding, unwilling to reveal herself to people.

A young animal taken from such a situation then really does have the connecting string between itself and its natural parent severed.

Despite the best of intentions, a foster parent in human form will have much difficulty taking the place of the natural mother. More often then not, human care for the young animal is insufficient, dooming the little critter.

Despite the knowledge that it probably wouldn't work, last year a stray baby squirrel was taken into my household. It turned up in the back yard -- injured, by who knows what, and too young and frail to get back up a tree to a nest that I couldn't even locate. Helpless on the ground, it was a certain candidate for early mortality.

Against better judgment, the squirrel was taken in the house and given shelter and, on directions of a veterinarian, bottle fed with as close as one could come to Mother Squirrel's milk. The efforts only sustained the tiny rodent about three days, at which time it went to squirrel heaven.

In most cases, it just won't work. People do pretty well at caring for human infants, but they just don't have the expertise, the physical stuff or even the time to nurse infant animals.

Another point is the legality. Wildlife regulations draw no distinction between killing and "adopting" animals. It's technically illegal to "take" a wild animal by any means if that creature is a protected species. Making it a foster child is just as illegal as shooting it.

Keeping a wild animal as a pet, thus, is illegal, allowed only under a special permit that is somewhat difficult to get from a wildlife agency.

One reason that there is a reluctance to hand out permits for keeping wildlife is that wild animals generally make lousy pets. Many never tame well, and some are outright dangerous once they grow up a little. That's not to say they aren't cute as bugs, but they have a good deal of trouble with the concept of domestication.

I once lived with a chipmunk that was released into the communal apartment complex by a college roommate. The miniature rodent remained as wild as a March hare throughout the experience, and drew blood a couple of times from people who might have assumed otherwise.

The chipmunk used to occasionally hide in a chest of drawers and, when I'd reach in for an article of clothing, scare the fritters out of me by running up my arm. It really wore out its welcome after eating some of my already limited wardrobe.

More than a few people have found that a kitten raccoon can grow into a surly critter who can, and may, whip everyone in the household.

Several people have absconded with "abandoned" deer fawns from the wild, and when little fawns grew into antlered bucks, they became powder kegs of unexpected violence. Numerous attacks by "tame" deer have injured and killed their keepers.

In most instances, both wild animals and people are better off if the latter doesn't take custody of the former. There's no way you can take one home without putting it in an unnatural environment, and the human act of intended kindness may instead prove fatal to the adoptee.

Leaving young varmints alone is almost always the best thing humans can do for them. And, even if a seemingly orphaned creature really is desperately alone and vulnerable, well, that's part of nature, too.

The natural process demands that many young animals don't survive. It's sort of a numbers game: Some do, some don't. It may seem cruel to humans, but nature is a rather harsh business. It's meant to be, and it works just fine that way -- without human intervention.

~Steve Vantreese is outdoors editor of The Paducah Sun.