Die living; don't live dying

"When my mother received her diagnosis of terminal cancer, she continued to fight," said my friend Leslie. "Mother received treatment and kept doing the things she liked to do."

One wonders how such people perceive life and death.

Grace, Leslie's mother, had a different perspective when well-meaning friends and family encouraged her to take it easy, rest and slow down. Her answer was that she intended to keep living life like she always had as much as possible. Grace had an awesome philosophy she was living by. It was one we could all learn from.

"I would rather live while I'm dying than die while I'm living," she would say. I remembered others who are living with various diseases and disabilities that make life difficult. They, too, are choosing to derive as much happiness as they can within their capabilities. If people can put aside the negative remarks and advice they receive from well-intentioned advisers, and live their way -- within proper boundaries -- they will know they've lived the best they could. For aren't we all living until we die or dying while we're living, depending on our choices and circumstances?

There are many ways to live and to die. You can be physically healthy yet maintain a life that's certainly less than joyful. Often this situation occurs when you worry, are unable to see and appreciate your many blessings and gifts, experience poverty or haven't found your niche in life. There are other reasons, too. How often do we hear of those who seem to have everything, yet attempt to end the life they have? It's such a waste to neglect living. We all have gifts and ideas to contribute, and there are those who love and would miss us. Let's keep on living rather than dying before our time.

Sometimes people don't like their job, their surroundings or refuse to take any interest in what is going on around them or in other people. Maybe bitterness is one's hindrance; it becomes a prison of one's own making. When a loved one dies, you can't seem to reach beyond the grief. Although it's difficult, life can't regenerate for people until they offer their pain to God. Then they can continue to, again, be happy and give to others and the world -- resume living. Grace drew solace from the Scripture passage "Do not be afraid, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom" (Luke 12: 32). She clung to that advice.

Everyone has heard the statement: "It's not the quantity of years that one lives that's important; it's the quality of his life." Although we're unable to always control our physical bodies or surroundings, our lives will be more meaningful and productive, both in a secular and spiritual vein, if we try to pursue what brings us joy. Isn't experiencing bouts of joy what causes us to want to live? Joy is long lasting -- and it's from God. Often people request that prayers not be directed toward their healing, but instead to a comfortable death. They are among those living to die because they are ready to enter heaven. There they know, for sure, they'll live again. We are all at different points in our seasons of life and our goals.

The sad rationale is when we refrain from living when we can. Since hope propels us forward, there are those who live far beyond medical expectations, simply because they refuse to stop doing what they enjoy and can accomplish. Hopefully, I shall live now while I can rather than dying before it's my time.

Ellen Shuck holds degrees in psychology, religious education and spiritual direction and provides spiritual direction to people at her office.