DEAR GRANDPA: DEAR GRANDPA

Dear Grandpa,

I am a recovering seventeen year old alcoholic.

Perhaps my story will keep other kids from becoming alcoholics.

I started drinking during the beginning of my freshman year in high school At a friend's home, whose parents were gone, consumed by curiosity, I took a brave swig of bourbon. The potent fumes burned my lungs and watered my eyes.

I was curious what one more drink would do. It was new found challenge. Liquor was very accessible. To me it tasted bad but I went on anyway. I wanted to know what a "buzz" is. It all seemed cool and nothing was going to stop me. I felt considerable invincibility which cleared my mind of almost all responsibility and discretion. I accepted the challenge and started to find time to drink more and more. At first I went slowly. The bitter taste was a small setback.

That summer I drank two bottles of cheap wine in one evening. My first buzz. It came on slowly. I wondered what "passing-out" would be like. My next school year I did pass out by drinking coffee mugs of vodka. Everyone at the party was stumbling including me. I saw only black the entire night. On the way home the next day I threw up all over my friend's car. I was mortified and scared and I had ruined my new leather jacket. I made a oath never to drink again. That lasted two weeks. I continued to drink every chance I got, after school, during lunch and almost every weekend. I was picked up by the police early one morning. I had helped resuscitate one of my best friends after he had a cocaine overdose mixed with alcohol.

Then I fell in love with a beautiful, smart and funny girl. My drinking incorporated her into my drunken activities slowly but surely. A few days later my mother had to pick me up at a friends house early one morning because I was throwing up all over my friend's room. That night was like a bad dream. This was regular "boys will be boys" stuff and I continued on drinking.

Next summer I stole bottles of liquor from the bar at the restaurant where I worked and helped myself to drinks during work. Problems arose with my girlfriend about the time I spent drinking and time I spent with her. It was not rare for me to finish a bottle of Tequila before driving to work. Drinking and driving had become a personal challenge to me, like a deadly game that I took lightly. It felt AS if I was driving through a rainstorm with no wipers on. Not remembering the events of my nights should have protruded the thick cloud that had accumulated in my alcohol-abused brain.

Later I went to the restaurant where my girlfriend worked. I was drunk. I became very confused. I could not sit or concentrate waiting for her. This had never happened to me before and I was so shook up that I left the place without paying and went home.

This is where luck and God played a big part. My mother saw my shameful, glossy eyes. She knew I was trashed. A lot of crying went on. My girlfriend stopped by. I lay tear-soaked in a dark room with two women whom I held the utmost respect for. I was an ugly sight.

The next day my father, mother and I had a long talk. A man from our church joined us. He asked me to attend an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting with him. This man is one of the greatest men that I have ever known. AA has gotten and kept me sober.

Alcohol is a drug. It destroys families, people and even teenagers. I was one of the lucky ones that was helped by the grace of God. The only other option was a slow death starting with everything I loved being taken away from me slowly.

Call me lucky seventeen-year-old.

Dear Lucky,

Like you indicated, most young people consider themselves invincible. Alcohol can have very serious consequences. It can kill. It's O.K. to say "No."

Apr 3, 1999

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