Dealing with last-minute registration

Yes, I know it's been a while since I've had a column. I think a self-imposed hiatus is just what I needed though. Things were pretty crazy with school and I'm almost positive my adviser wanted to decapitate me, throw my head in her trunk, put the car in neutral, let it slide off the Bill Emerson Memorial Bridge, force my family to buy her a new car, and make them build an entirely different bridge in the memory of the old one.

She had a good reason to be angry at me. I waited two weeks after the registration date to sign up for classes next semester.

Luckily I was able to get into most of the classes I had to have and not something like EB101 (Intro to Eating Boogers), but it was pretty stressful. I didn't realize the dire mistake I had made until I began talking to her.

"Hi, I'm Sam."

"Hi Sam. You will never do this again. Do you understand?" she said.

I pretty much kept my mouth shut as she explained to me how most of the classes I needed were full.

"So I should wait a couple more weeks before I sign up?" I jokingly asked.

"WHAT?!" she shouted as her finger made its way to a button that read "Snake Pit for Idiots Who Make Jokes at Inappropriate Times."

Fortunately I was able to scoot my seat over a few feet just in the nick of time.

After I left her office, I immediately went in search of a computer lab where I could register. This proved to be a problem, however, because the first two I came upon were completely full of people doing important things like typing "LOL" repeatedly and looking at pictures of their friends drinking beer. These were the same people who filled up the classes I wanted.

But everything is finally worked out, and I just got a phone call telling me I was accepted into a class I put my name on the waiting list for. It's called Mass Communication Theory and Research and will teach me journalistic skills like cutting out funny Speak Outs and taping them to my desk.

I'm also waiting for an important movie executive to call and tell me I will be an extra for "Killshot." How could they not hire me? According to the form I filled out, I have absolutely no other commitments for the entire month of December. I'm sure there's something I have to do, but nothing is more important than appearing on the big screen for 1.4 seconds.

And even if my scene gets cut, there's still a chance I could be in one of the deleted scenes when the DVD comes out.

Anyway, I thought I'd bring you all up to speed on why my column hadn't appeared in several weeks. Between all the other stuff I had to do, there just wasn't much time.

And when there was time, why write a column when I could look at pictures of people drinking beer? LOL.

Contact Sam at sdereign@semissourian.com.