Controlling fear and being thankful

I wasn't very old, maybe 8 or 10. Dad usually bought some small pigs every year and would feed them out and butcher them. One year he decided to buy an old sow and have her have a batch of pigs. I'd never been around hogs, and I'm not sure Mom had either. Dad didn't have the pens and such to really have a sow and baby pigs so he made do with what he had. For some reason he made a little pen up in the milk barn where he had the sow and babies. The fence wasn't very tall where it was pigs.

Dad wanted to move the baby pigs so he caught two of the baby pigs and gave them to me. Now I have a pig in each hand by the hind leg and they are squirming and wiggling and squealing. I'm headed to the door out of the barn and be danged if that old sow didn't jump the fence. I tried to hurry, and I stepped on a dry, hard cow chip and did a swan dive. Mom commenced to screaming because she knew that old sow was going to eat me, and I was her favorite older son. Well I'd done turned the pigs loose, so the old sow could care less about me. Honestly, I think I was the scaredest I had ever been to that day. I knew an old hog could tear me up, and I was flat on the ground.

Fear comes in all shapes and sizes. All of us from young to old have been scared of something in our lives. Some of the fears are real, and some are more imaginary then anything. When I was little, my chest would hurt like unreal. There was several times Mom and Dad hauled me to the doctor thinking it was serious. The doctors thought it was a kind of infection in the sack around my heart. It seems like they called it pleurisy. They said don't worry and don't be afraid. They virtually said to take a couple aspirins and relax. Thinking back on it, some of it was probably imaginary and part was real.

But fear is like that. Some fear the dark. My old dog Queeny was scared of the dark, and I am too a little bit. We have a couple cats in the house that are downright petrified of lightning. But I don't like it either to be honest. Am I afraid of lightning? Probably a little.

From the time I was little I've fished and spent time wading in lakes. I started to take swimming lessons and quit. I even took swimming in college. Still can't swim. I am scared of the water. I love to fish and really enjoy using my boat to fish from, but still I am afraid of the water. Back when I was pastoring here in Scott City, we had a summer camp up by Sam A. Baker State Park here in Missouri. And usually at some time during the camp, we'd go up to the park and hold a baptismal service. Most of those I was going to baptize could swim, so they weren't worried. I wore my life jacket.

Fear does something to one I don't totally understand. It kind of works one up and makes it hard to relax and even sleep. It probably raises our blood pressure. Fear causes tension so we could end up with a headache or one of those back-of-the-head hurts right at the top of the neck. If fear is great enough and lasts long enough, it can give our stomachs fits. We can end up with a knot in our belly. Fear is tied up with worry and anxiety and dread and the list goes on. People can cause us to fear something as well. Mom was petrified of tornadoes and storms. I'm not petrified, but I darn sure pay attention when Grant, our weatherman, goes on about tornadoes.

I think of our forefathers who came here to this country we live. Grandpa came here from Denmark about six weeks before Grandma, and the three girls followed. They settled in the Sandhills of Nebraska with little else but grit to get them through. They were tough and mastered their fears. I'll bet there was many a night they laid there in bed fearful of tomorrow.

When I started high school in Arthur, Nebraska, as a ninth grader, everyone had a desk in what we called study hall. I sat over by the wall, and I remember one of the gals who sat close to me had had polio and her one leg was shorter and it seemed like it was in a brace. Polio was the fear back when I was growing up and just before me. It seemed like the worst cases of polio was from about 5 years old to 10 or 15 years old. A vaccine was formulated that alleviated the fear but up until then everyone feared their little ones would get polio. I was born in 1950, so right about the time polio was really ramped up. In 1952 the polio epidemic turned out to be the worst outbreak in our nation's history. I was reading that of the 57,628 cases reported that year 3,145 died and 21,269 were left with mild to disabling paralysis. Unreal. I was too young to fear, but Mom and Dad did. Bet Mom and Dad breathed a sigh of relief when all four of us kids never got it.

I cannot even imagine the heartache and pain of watching ones child or grandchild become so paralyzed they simply couldn't breathe. Many ended up in iron lungs. If it had been me or my child, I'd have been praying, asking God to heal them and put the affliction on me. Today we have a disease that has scared the dickens out of all of us, but in a way we have allowed it to.

I'm fearful of Marge and I and our family and friends getting the virus. Only a fool wouldn't be, in my opinion. But we are and will be taking all the precautions we can to avoid getting it. The virus has jumped to the head of my prayer list.

But there are some things I'm thankful for. If the information in regards to getting the virus and being healed is correct, my grandchildren and our boys and their families will probably be OK. They are all pretty healthy. The expert I was listening to said those 65 and over or those with underlying medical issues are at most risk. Marge will probably be fine. She is pretty healthy. I probably won't be. I've had trouble with my lungs, along with diabetes for years, so not a good prognosis. But honestly, I'm OK with that. I'm 70 and been there and done that. Now don't get me wrong I'd still like to have a few more years to enjoy some good home-roasted coffee. When the T-paper and such were disappearing, I made sure to check how much green coffee beans I had on hand. There are priorities! Marge and I also bought five bottles of Dorothy Lynch salad dressing in Perryville. It's only made in Nebraska.

Turn the TV off and lay down your phones and enjoy your family and friends. There comes a time when we've done what we can, and we just have to toughen up and carry on. John Wayne at some time said, "Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway."