CONTENTS UNDER PRESSURE: THINKING PINK ON THE DRK SIDE OF THE RAINBOW

Once again, we have proof that mind-altering substances and technology are not a good mix.

Remember when Paul McCartney died? You played the records backward and noticed he was barefoot on the album cover and came to the only conclusion that any right-thinking rock conspiracy theorist with way too much time on their hands could reach:

The cute Beatle was dead, and the powers that be were conspiring to keep from saying anything official, because no one ever does say anything official; that's why it's a conspiracy.

Actually, I don't personally remember the dead-Paul controversy, but we studied it in history class.

And now there's a new theory: Pink Floyd's monster album "Dark Side of the Moon," released in 1973, is really the "secret soundtrack" to the MGM classic "The Wizard of Oz."

Somehow, some way, someone just happened to be playing "Dark Side of the Moon" at the same time "The Wizard of Oz" was on (scary, kids; very scary) and noticed that the album and the movie synchronize very well.

The theory essentially says the group deliberately recorded the album in sync with the movie.

There's a web page on the Internet devoted to the syncronicity (which, incidentally, was also an excellent album by The Police, who, as far as I know, have not been linked to any classic films) and many, many "supporting incidents" are offered to support the Pink Wizard Theory.

The Associated Press and the New York Daily News have also done stories on the phenomenon.

It's on the Internet, the AP and the Daily News; ergo, it must be true.

In order for this to work, you have to start the album in sync with the MGM lion's third roar.

Here are some f'r instances:

-- During the song "Breathe," Dorothy teeters along a fence to the lyric "balanced on the biggest wave."

-- The Wicked Witch (in human form) first appears on her bike at the same moment a burst of alarm bells sounds on the album.

-- During the song "Time," Dorothy breaks into a trot during the line "no one told you when to run."

-- The song "Brain Damage" starts about the same time as the Scarecrow begins warbling "If I Only Had a Brain."

-- The cash register sound effect from "Money" coincides with the exact moment Dorothy opens the door into Oz and the movie switches to color.

Oh, WOW, man.

Alex Harm, a Massachusetts musician with a website devoted to the theory (woodsot.html) theorizes that Roger Waters, the former frontman of Pink Floyd, planned the whole thing not bothering to tell the rest of the band what was going.

It's too big a conspiracy, say believers; it must have been planned.

Once again, we have proof that mind-altering substances and technology (like computers, VCRs and stereos) don't mix.

I can't say I'm a Pink Floyd fanatic; I do love a couple of their songs. But I'm pretty well convinced that drugs are required to fully appreciate the nuances of their music.

I honestly can't picture Dorothy with a bong. The Cowardly Lion, maybe, but not Dorothy.

I think it's the braids.

And the pinafore.

Although, symbolically, the ruby slippers on the yellow brick road. ...

Peggy O'Farrell is a copy editor for the Southeast Missourian.