CONTENTS UNDER PRESSURE; 63-YEAR-OLD WOMAN GIVING BIRTH RAISES BIG FUSS

The sexagenarian who gave birth has some people crankier than a bad case of diaper rash.

The woman, 63, conceived the child through a fertility clinic -- donated egg, her husband's sperm -- and delivered by Caesarean section in November.

Must have been some baby shower.

Some people seem very upset about this. When the child turns 13, Mom is going to be 76.

Lord love a duck, you'd think she was claiming Elvis fathered the child.

Frankly, I can't wait to see the tabloid headlines.

I'm approximately half the woman's age, and I don't particularly want a baby.

However, I'd hate to think that, should I happen to be past some arbitrary chronological milestone when baby fever strikes, complete strangers will feel they have some right to comment on what is my decision and mine alone.

It's time for me to point something out: Nobody raised an eyebrow when Tony Randall became a father at the age of 77.

But everyone and her obstetrician is putting her 2 cents' worth in about the woman who decided she wanted a baby at 60-plus.

So let's see if we can get this reasoning straight: Randall is a stud-muffin, but the world's oldest new mom is a crackpot.

Call me cynical, but I think I smell a double-standard here.

Perhaps it's just the perception that, as commodities, women have shorter shelf-lives than men.

I suppose the reasoning is that Mom's going to be a little old to be running after the child once it's mobile.

No one seems to expect Randall to go toddler-chasing.

Is that because he's male or (my personal guess) because he's rich enough to hire a nanny to do it for him?

Let me point something else out: There are more than a few twenty-somethings of peak childbearing age out there who have children, but no business whatsoever raising them.

Anyone who's ever worked with children and their parents will tell you that the ability to conceive has nothing to do with a woman's fitness for motherhood.

Having a child is a lot of work; raising a child is a lot more, whether the whole village is in on the act or just one dedicated mama.

And papa, of course.

Sorry guys. Even I'm not above a little well-meaning sexism.

As for the concern that someone else may have to raise the child should the woman die, we all face the same risk. There is no guarantee anyone will live to see their children reach adulthood.

And finally, may I now point out that a great many grandmothers raise their grandchildren when the biological parents are unwilling or unable to take on the job?

If giving birth at her age is a little unseemly, other people have much more chutzpah.

It's not like she's trying to get a tax break on a penalty she had to pay for ripping off taxpayers in the first place.

And you thought I was going to ignore that.

Peggy O'Farrell is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.