Conflict is part of life

If you have ever had a relationship with anyone, you have experienced conflict. Children argue on the playground. There are people in your life whose relationships were never the same because of disagreements. Unfortunately, we will never be conflict-free on this side of heaven. But we can learn to address the conflict in our lives. The Bible in Matthew 18, Acts 15, and 1 Corinthians 6 give us some strategies to address our interpersonal conflicts.

First, value the relationship over the conflict. Jesus, in Matthew 18, says, "If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him -- work it out between the two of you" (MSG.) You may be hurt and the person who offended you may not realize they upset you. The prompt Jesus gives here is to take the initiative to repair the fractured relationship. The first principle towards resolving a dispute is to value the relationship enough to initiate resolution.

Second, some conflicts require seeking a third, neutral person who possesses similar values. Paul in 1 Corinthians encourages divided members of that church to seek out a brother to help them settle the dispute. Someone with a shared core value can speak into the conflict to bring resolution.

Third, there are conflicts between two people than sometimes cannot be resolved. For example, in Acts 15, Paul and Barnabas conflicted about who should accompany them on their next missionary endeavor. The disagreement was so sharp that the two parted company for a season. Yet, though the two parted ways, they accomplished greater things from their conflict. Eventually, the two came back together, and they restored matters.

Sometimes two parties cannot immediately resolve their conflict. In such cases, each must make it a priority in their hearts to be cordial to each other even when the friction causes division. It seems that, at present, conflict at large has created categories of people. The sentiment is that if you disagree with me, then we are enemies and must behave that way. People can have divisions over issues that cannot be resolved but behave cordially.

Conflict does not have to be only destructive. If we are willing to initiate conversation, be open to outside help, and find a resolution, you may find that you have a better solution to the conflict than you would absent the disagreement.