FeaturesJuly 20, 1999
CLICK & DOUBLE CLICK: WHEN A FRIEND IS ABOUT TO SAY GOODBYE, IT'S TIME FOR JOKE SITES (COLUMN 141)
Click and Double Click is about to become one click short -- but what's new. Peggy: I am taking a new job with a newspaper in Festus, so I won't get a chance to surf every week with Joni. We'll still stay in touch via ICQ and e-mail and all those other high tech methods of communication. But this is our last official column together. Boo hoo...
Click and Double Click is about to become one click short -- but what's new.
Peggy: I am taking a new job with a newspaper in Festus, so I won't get a chance to surf every week with Joni. We'll still stay in touch via ICQ and e-mail and all those other high tech methods of communication. But this is our last official column together. Boo hoo.
Joni: So it seems like it's time for a little humor in this week's column. It's hard to believe it's been more than two years we've been doing this column. I'll try to carry on the high level of journalistic excellence -- which means I get to ding you long-distance. You know how that works. When you don't show up for a meeting, you get elected president of the club.
Peggy: Perhaps I'll be starting my own column at the new place. Who knows?
Joni: Here's a site to keep you busy during those free moments on the job. It was suggested to me by my friend Dee Dee. It's a hoot.
Peggy: My favorite part is the flashing red panic button on every page: "Uh-oh, It's your boss." Click on the button and it takes you to the opening page of the Go network, a very legitimate search engine.
Joni: This site claims to bridge the gap between work and leisure. I think a lot of people do surf at the office. Of course, when we're surfing at the office, it's always for official business and research.
Peggy: The "I Should Be Working" site also gives you loafing tips, like how to clean up your trail of cookie crumbs and non-work-related computer files.
Joni: Here's another: "Alt-tab is my best friend. Chat room to payroll, you can toggle between programs effortlessly."
Peggy: You can send a card from the site, which says "Let's take the day off," "Any plans for tonight?" "When's our next meeting? (at the golf course)." They call these corporate pick-me-ups. All you need to know is the recipient's e-mail.
Joni: Of course the most well-known place to laugh at the corporate world is Dilbert. And Dilbert says it's better than working, by far.
Peggy: Here's a performance review generator designed to help write double-talk about your bosses. You can also test your skills against Catbert to see if you can get a pay raise.
Joni: You can get Dilbert screen savers and other Dilbert stuff, delivered free to your computer daily. And, here's the good news, Dilbert has a panic button too. It brings up a very official letter, budget or memo to cover Dilbert.
Peggy: You can get a live Dilbert Web cam, opened in a separate window, or you can play the Dilbert trivia game.
Joni: If we get real blue, we can send funny postcards from our favorite Web card site. August 1 is Friendship Day. I'll be expecting a card from you that day.
Peggy: You bet. Most of Blue Mountain's cards are animated and include sounds. They have a whole bunch of choices for Friendship Day.
Joni: For a quick laugh, you may want to visit a site that bills itself as the world's largest daily joke list.
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Peggy: I am very familiar with Joke-of-the-Day because I am on the e-mail list. Usually they are pretty good, but if not you always get a chance to rate the jokes.
Joni: On the Web site, they have lots of jokes too, like Top 10 Lists, college jokes, etc.
Peggy: You have to be careful about joke sites. Some jokes are rated PG. Some are down-right raunchy. Beware.
Joni: At Joke-of-the-Day, you can submit your own jokes. For something different, take a trip to the Laffatorium.
Peggy: This site is a joke-a-holic's heaven with jokes of all sorts a click away. You can be part of an interactive story, read really bad puns and short "grinners."
Joni: They have lots of humorous lists, with star ratings. How do you know it's time to move on in life? If you get stuck in the same place forever, you could find yourself in 8-Track Heaven.
Peggy: This site is digital online but analog at heart. It certainly takes me back.
Joni: I had 8-tracks, but I can't imagine why anyone still fancies them.
Peggy: They don't like people to shove technology down their throats. These people hear other people say, "You don't have a cellular phone? You probably still listen to 8-tracks." Yep.
Joni: Why 8-tracks? They will never get stolen. When did they stop making 8-tracks? Well, according to this site, at least one country label still sells them, but consumer demand was strongest between 1970 and 1974.
Peggy: We know the future isn't bright for the 8-track, but how does it look for me in Festus? Let's consult the Magic 8-Ball. Well, this site may not give you an answer, but it explains how the Magic 8-Ball works.
Joni: They have dissected an 8-Ball. At one point the people disassembling asked if the oracle was enjoying it. "Outlook not so good" was the answer.
Peggy: They drilled holes and drained the mysterious blue fluid. People volunteered to taste the fluid and reported numbness, hideous taste, blue fingertips and headache. It isn't recommended.
Joni: They found that 50 percent of the answers are positive, 25 percent are negative and 25 percent are vague.
Peggy: Well, goodbye for now. Happy surfing and feel free to e-mail me at scottsmidwest.net.
See you in Cyberspace.
Joni Adams and Peggy Scott are members of the Southeast Missourian online staff.
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