CLICK & DOUBLE CLICK: FOOTBALL FANS CAN SCORE A TOUCHDOWN IN CYBERSPACE SURFING WEB (COLUMN 55)

Cybertip: A handful of spots are still open for beginners Internet training Thursday from 1 to 3 p.m. The class is taught by members of SEMissourian.com's online staff. Registration costs $10. For information, call Peggy or Joni or Darren at 651-6611. Reservations are also being taken for the Oct. 9 class, also from 1 to 3 p.m.

Two people with no football experience probably shouldn't write a column on football, but here we go anyway.

Joni Adams decided not to show up with some lame excuse about traveling to Texas to pick up awards. Since when is being out of state an excuse? Webmaster Darren McGaha is filling in.

Since we know so little about football, perhaps we should start at the official site of the National Football League.

www.nfl.com

Darren: It says Pewter Power. I thought pewter was some kind of metal. Guess I was wrong. Oh, football, that's not the one with the stick.

Peggy: Even after reading the NFL's top story about Pewter Power, I can't figure out what it has to do with football. Please someone enlighten us. We did learn that the Bucs won over Miami.

Darren: It looks like they have links to more teams than I thought they had. Let's see I recognize Green Bay, Giants, Steelers.

Peggy: Let's click on one and see what happens. We'll try the Cardinals. Indeed it's the Arizona Cardinals' page, complete with sand on their helmet logo.

Darren: It's a nice looking page, except it's a little hard to read. It has all kinds of game times so I know when not to watch TV. Let's check out the Cardinal Theater.

Peggy: The theater has video clips from the Cardinals in QuickTime and AVI. We downloaded one, waited about two minutes, but only got the audio, but it sounded real nice. Look an ad.

Darren: The ads are usually the best part during football on TV too. This one takes us to the virtual gridiron championship.

www.sprintmnf.com/pcs

Peggy: You can test your running, kicking and passing skills against people from around the world.

Darren: And you can win prizes. Like that. You have choices Run, coming Oct. 13. Kick to win prizes or pass to play for fun. Let's pass.

Peggy: Before you can play, even for fun, you have to fill out a registration form. It's free, so far. We got two minutes to pass as many yards as possible. It was a long two minutes. I played the first minutes and Darren saved us during the second minute. Our score was 620 yards.

Darren: The top score is 6,000 yards. Let's go somewhere else.

Peggy: Surely the St. Louis Rams have a page. Oh yes, it's

www.stlouisrams.com

Darren: Click and enter the End Zone. So I guess we click.

Peggy: You can read the RAMarks, including Community Ramblings. I sense a trend here.

Darren: They also have the history of the Rams, their stats, the player of the week, and look it says right here win two free Rams tickets.

Peggy: Since that's the only way I'm going, let's see if we can win.

Darren: Oh. It's a trivia contest. Where are the sports guys when you need them?

Peggy: Well, there are only five questions, and they are multiple choice. Maybe we will do all right. We entered in Joni's name. But they don't tell us how we did.

Darren: I guess we'll know when Joni gets the tickets. Here's one marked "Cheers," let's try that. Yes, the Rams cheerleaders, that's what football's all about.

Peggy: Funny, I thought it was about the marching band.

Darren: They are selling their calendar. The Rams Cheerleaders have a swimsuit calendar. Dang, there's 39 of them. And here's pictures of all of them. The pictures are so small.

Peggy: The Rams also show examples of the calendar photos. Looks amazingly similar to Sports Illustrated's swimsuit edition. Let's change the subject. I've been told that Missouri has two professional football teams. The Kansas City Chiefs can be found at

www.kcchiefs.com

Darren: You can learn vital info about this week's game against the Seahawks.

Peggy: In the locker room, you can learn about injury reports, roster and player bios and the chief's lineup. You can get a detailed background listing of the players by clicking on their number.

Darren: Let's see who number 38 is. It's fullback Kimble Anders. He's just a little taller than me, and twice the size in the other areas.

Peggy: I don't think anyone would mistake you for a fullback, Darren. We can learn everything imaginable about Anders' career, year by year, almost play-by-play, all the way back to college.

Darren: Let's look at the Dallas Cowboys. After all, don't they call them America's team? They did last year.

www.dallascowboys.com

Peggy: In addition to the expected schedules and game highlights, they have a cheerleader's doll collection, 12 dolls representing the famous cheerleaders.

Darren: Let's check out the fans. They have the Cowboys Corral Online, Cowboy Kids, Crazy Fans and Official Football Signals, you know whatever the ref is doing when he looks like he's trying to fly.

Peggy: Crazy Fans, as you might guess, is a page devoted to fans doing crazy things. Cowboys Corral Online is a Palace chatroom.

Darren: It seems there are a lot of Cowboy fans. This site is kind of bogged down.

Peggy: And just think. This is only week four of the football season.

Darren: What's your favorite football site? E-mail us at click@semissourian.com

See you in Cyberspace.

Darren McGaha and Peggy Scott are members of the Southeast Missourian online staff.