Busy making other plans

"As soon as I finish my degree, I'll get on with my life," I once said. "When I get married, I'll really have a life," some believe. Or "When I win the lottery I'll be happy and start living." What is living life? Really!

It seems there are still so many things I want to accomplish, and I realize even more of my dreams every day. But life has to slow down, I muse. Other projects must be finished first. Then I'll have space and peace to think before I settle down to the business of realizing my plans.

I attend swimming lessons, ball games and enjoy visits with relatives and friends. I work on committees, and I write. All are activities I enjoy. I desire friendships, being a part of my family's life and my church and community. Then I measure how long it will be until ball season is finished, committee meetings are over and everyone gets back to normal living, whatever that is. Then, I tell myself, I'll have time to live life.

I can take a trip, write a book, meditate and offer more spiritual direction -- finally settle down to "genuinely live life." Then I realized that with the time if takes to finish all the things I feel I need to accomplish and see all the people I need to see; When will I find time to live life?

I continued wondering what living life was. I ran across a statement the other day that answered my query. John Lennon's view was that "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans." As I read the words, I realized I'm already living life. But it isn't necessarily waiting for a vacation, until someone visits or I write more. I must recognize life is happening right now -- amid all my other activities. If I wait until I complete all that I want to do and become all of what I want to be, I won't experience life because I'm already right in the middle of it.

Many people say to stop fretting. Don't sweat the small stuff. They say to "get a life." Usually people feel they do have a life and that worrying is simply a part of it. It seems unkind to tell someone he has no life. Who knows what's inside his head and his heart? One cannot always see what another is experiencing by outward appearances. Only God knows. I hope I never tell anyone to "get a life" or call him a loser or a deadbeat. God made even those people whom we perceive as being losers and dead-beats. People can change and learn.

Often we are so busy making plans to "live life" that we fail to notice when we're actually doing just that. Those unplanned occurrences are what are allowing us to make a difference. If we recall the time when Jesus selected his disciples, we'll remember they found numerous excuses why they could not follow him. His answer to the man who felt he must first bury his father was to "Let the dead bury their dead," meaning to stop putting plans for the "oughts and shoulds" first for a while and follow him. Luke 9:59-62.

I recently talked with a woman who was her husband's caregiver. His condition steadily worsened, yet she smiled. Although she hadn't planned for his illness, she nevertheless tried to seek enjoyment for herself while still caring for him. Her life with her husband's condition happened in spite of their plans.

Those plans for our heartfelt desires can become a part of our present existence, but instead of putting our life on hold until we realize our goals, we must insert bits of what we cherish into our daily grind -- into that life that is happening all the time. Then we'll see that worthy things continue happening, even while we're busy with other arrangements.

Ellen Shuck holds degrees in psychology, religious education and spiritual direction.