Building bridges is a good thing

Several of Marge's friends as well as Marge and I went to a diner in Cape Girardeau recently for supper. It was a time to visit and enjoy. Our waitress did a good job. We got our drinks and orders in a timely way. The food was good. But she failed to make a connection or to start building a bridge to those she waited on. If we go back to the same diner, we won't designate her as our waitress. On the other hand, we go to a Mexican diner, and one of the waitresses has made an effort to build a bridge with us. We will go out of our way to have her wait on us. And quite honestly this bridge makes a difference on how we tip.

Bridges or connections between people are important. These bridges add to a relationship or tear relationships apart. We go through life dumping on everyone and treating them badly and never offering a compliment. We never even try to build a bridge or form a relationship with someone else. One of these days when we need a friend, there won't be any. It will be our own fault. We never built any bridges with others, and we destroyed the ones that were started. This is true whether it be family or friends or even adversaries. It's odd, but even those who don't like each other can build bridges of respect between them.

We had some friends come to visit a couple weeks ago. They came to visit and get to know Grace, our dog, but also to sample my coffee. So when they showed up, each of them pulled a dog treat out of his pocket and won a star award from Grace. Just a little preparation made a big difference in how Grace accepted them. It was an act of kindness to our Grace that added to the bridges of friendship we have with them. They got a star in my book. Vic came up the other day and brought Grace some tennis balls. Bonus points to Vic.

Marge and I have done this. We have people we have sold veggies to for a number of years, and we have come to know them personally. Many of them are older with some of them having physical problems and limited income. So now and then in the summer, we drop off veggies at their house. One loves the small stubby cucumbers. Another likes five or six small tomatoes. Usually we come unexpectedly, so they are caught by surprise. What we like to do is drop them off unnoticed. Just friend helping friend. Friendship bridges.

Sometimes we build bridges or reach out to others just to be kind or to help someone out. We don't do it to get something or to puff up self, but just to be kind. Growing up, Mom and Dad would help those who were up in years just to be helpful. Maybe a jar of cream or some veggies or some baked goodies or a dozen eggs, just to be helpful. I guess simply to be a blessing to someone else. Some bridges are because of hobbies like photography, fishing, hunting, hiking biking, cooking, exercise, gardening and the list goes on and on. Simple bridges. Bridges at work are important as well. They don't have to be elaborate but simple bridges show that both employer and employee care.

Bridges or relationships can be repaired, but it takes time and effort. It takes one of the offended parties to reach out to the other or others. It might mean saying one is sorry. It's probably going to mean taking a risk of being ignored or even rejected. But honestly, relationships are risky in the sense that there is always the danger of getting hurt. But relationships with bridges is what seems to make life a real joy.

Bridges between friends need to be "no score card" bridges. We don't need to have a tally book and record all the times we helped and they helped. Just neighbor helping neighbor, kind of like it used to be and still is at times and in some places.