BUCKING THE SYSTEM: THAT SPECIAL VALENTINE PUTS A GRIN ON MY FACE EVERY TIME

* Even the hint of a smile will make a girl smile, if it's coming from the right man.

There's something about a man who can make you smile.

I hope you don't mind if I gush a little about my husband. After all, it is Valentine's Day weekend, and those who know me know I'm on an annual couples-only trip with some of my closest friends to remind myself why I enjoy being married.

But where was I? Ah, yes. Smiling.

I should have known Patrick would have an effect on me because he made me smile at a time no other man was able to. Not that I was angry with men or anything. We just met at a time when I was thoroughly enjoying being Tamara and wasn't looking for a man to give me something to do.

Why would I, when my dance card was always full at parties and I had a mixed-gender crew of friends I enjoyed hanging out with?

But then I saw him and I thought, "I could spend some time with him."

Being an independent woman, I took the bull by the horns and asked him to dance. I figured I'd catch his attention by showing him how date-savvy I was, make him take me out on a few dates, and at summer's end he'd become another friend who wasn't boyfriend material.

Little did I know the man had other plans.

Although he denies it, I believe Patrick was on a mission to get married. Regardless of what he claims his motives were, his actions said otherwise.

Take for example, his willingness to compliment me on even the most inconsequential things. He was also an avid reader, so it was no problem to stay in and read instead of going out somewhere.

And he opened doors regularly, ran errands for me and acted like he thought my heavy voice was the most melodic thing he'd ever heard when we talked on the phone.

After a while, that kind of pressure can get to a girl. Before I knew it or wanted it, I was smiling when his name showed up on the caller ID box, when he held my hand, when he showed up unexpectedly just to see what I was doing.

And then he said the magic words, and I had to rethink that whole party crew thing. Did I want to hang out with a loose gathering of friends who would probably never see each other again after college? Or did I want to spend my time with a man who honored me daily and made me smile?

It might have been a dilemma for some folks, but for me it was a no-brainer. Especially after we had our fifth fight, and in the middle of it, we looked at each other and again had to struggle to hold our anger.

Sometimes, even the hint of a smile will make a girl smile, if it's coming from the right man.

So here we are, six years later, married with two kids who have my smile. And just like their mom, my boys light up when Patrick walks through the door.

Unlike Jerry and P.J., I don't meet my husband at the door and jump up and down in my gladness that he's home. Well, not on the outside anyway.

Instead I smile that smile he seems to like a lot, and we talk about our day.

There's something about a man who can make you smile.