BUCKING THE SYSTEM: STRUGGLING WITH THE NEW AGE FOUL LANGUAGE CONCEPT

It's amazing how much your hearing and your perception changes after you become a parent.

I grew up in the stereotypical nuclear family household, but my parents weren't Mother and Father, my sister and I weren't Dick and Jane, and we didn't have a dog named Spot.

Neither did my parents utter words like "gosh darn" and "by golly" under their breath, and I don't remember anyone getting hugged after they broke a window.

Rather, I grew up in a household where the parents were real: They whupped, they cursed and they sent us out of the room when they had adult conversations with their friends.

Not that my parents were roughnecks. They didn't get much more profane than the occasional a-, d- and s-words, but I knew the words when I heard them. I also knew better than to try my hand at cursing. I couldn't even call someone a liar without getting yelled at, much less sing a song that might have had the word damn in it.

Maybe my parents cursed more around their friends, but I doubt it. I always listened carefully when I thought they didn't want me to understand what was being talked about, and I don't remember an undo number of graphic words or phrases.

Of course, when I became an adult and got out on my own, I tried the new and improved curse words that people were using. As a matter of fact, I got good at it: I could curse as well as many and better than quite a few. I probably knew the spelling and correct usage for more curse words and phrases than my parents used in a month.

But then came Jerry ... and daycare. A few months ago, he started talking and I all but stopped cursing. I did not want my child to be the one going to daycare and experimenting with illicit words and phrases in front of any and all preschoolers and adults.

You know, it's true what they say about the things that come out of the mouths of babes. There are some potty-mouth 2-year-olds running around this town, and one of two things is responsible for it: Their parents or their television.

That's why parents have to watch what they say and what they allow their children to watch. It's getting to where you can't watch network television after 8 p.m. I know the 'L' in the corner means adult language, but I didn't know until recently what kind of adult language that could mean.

Case in point: Last week Patrick and I were watching "Brooklyn South" on CBS. I saw the "L" but thought nothing of it because I figured it would be the "regular" curse words, like the ones I heard as a child. Imagine my surprise when a man referred to his private parts using a nickname for Richard (how'd I handle that?).

On CBS?! What happened to "Welcome home"? I almost couldn't continue watching the show.

You'd be amazed at some of the words these kids pick up on. They don't understand it when you say "lay down" or "time to go," but try taking the Lord's name in vain. THEY'VE GOT IT, and they're willing to use it.

So I guess I'm going to have to break down and get Nick-At-Night so my family can have some decent evening entertainment. Although until recently I used the more coarse vulgarities, I didn't realize how they sounded in the presence of the young and innocent.

I want my children and any of those around me to keep that innocence as long as possible. So I guess it's Nickolodean and "By-golly-gosh-darns" for everybody.

~Tamara Zellars Buck is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.