BUCKING THE SYSTEM: STANK ATTITUDE: BAD MOODS OR PHASES OF MOON?

I have always been the worst of moody persons -- the one whose mood swings exist for no apparent reason.

My personality and moods are in constant limbo, swinging from light to dark, happy to sad, and jovial to angry in a matter of moments. I have the unfortunate ability to be the life of the party for the first half of the evening, followed by a stint when all I want is to be alone so I can read my book, even if I'm in the middle of a party at the time.

I've heard plenty of explanations for my changeability over the years.

If you believe in astrology, you'd say my moods exist because I'm a strange cusp child, born on the changing date for Aries and Pisces, the first and last signs of the Zodiac. That factor, combined with the moons and the houses and what-have-you, account for my unstable temperament.

Of course others, who base their beliefs in superstition, would say my mood swings occur because I've gotten up on the wrong side of the bed, or received the evil eye from an enemy, or have had roots put on me.

Then there are those who assume I'm on drugs because I have the power to completely isolate myself from an event or person when I don't want to participate or don't like someone, even in a crowd. They're belief is that my moods are so changeable that they must be drug-induced.

Of course, my parents, sister and husband have a simpler, different explanation: I just have a mean streak and a stank attitude.

For those who don't understand the concept, stank attitudes belong to people who get in bad moods and hold onto them for the sake of having a bad mood. These are the people who walk around with their jaws tight and a perpetual grimace of pain as they look for any reason to complain so they have something to complain about.

They're the Schleprocks of the world, condemning themselves to a lifetime of crying "Wowsy, wowsy woo woo."

I've known a number of these people over the years, and I'd like to think I'm right to assume I'm not one of them. I think I'm the easy-going type who gets into the occasional blue funk. If I don't like someone, I just don't like them, and if I don't feel like talking, I generally won't talk.

Rather than plastering a fake smile on my face, I wear my funk like clothing until it fades away naturally. Quite honestly, I think that's the more natural and healthy approach to life. Why smile and fake enthusiasm when what you'd rather do is go to a private place and have a good cry to relieve some tension? And why should we feel obligated to make people believe we're happy all the time when that everlasting emotion is left only to the dead, the damned and the demented?

I think many people like myself have been wrongly diagnosed with stank attitudes when what we truly have are simple personality traits and natural, realistic forms of expression. There are big differences between the occasional mood swing, a stank attitude and total dementia, and I don't think we're anywhere near the lines of the advanced ailments.

I think people like me are pretty normal and have a good understanding of who we are. Those who don't basically have two choices: Deal with our personalities or leave us alone.

Either way, everyone wins.

Tamara Buck is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.