BUCKING THE SYSTEM: SEEKING THE TRUTH IS THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE THINGS BETTER

We all have a multitude of memberships throughout our life. Some of them, like our race or ethnic origin, our hometown and our families, are often dismissed without thought because we figure we can't change them. Others, like our religious or fraternal affiliation, or our civic memberships, are taken much more seriously and are jealously guarded.

I take all of my memberships seriously. I work hard to be the best African, American, African Methodist Episcopal, Zellars, Buck, female, native of Charleston that I can be. Besides all of that, I only have two civic memberships because I want to make sure I can give them whatever I have left.

I don't believe in joining an organization or having an affiliation just to fit in or because everybody else does it. Nor do I feel it's necessary to lunch with my co-workers each and every day or attend the "popular" church with the largest attendance each Sunday.

I believe in being an individual, being an active participant and making my memberships count for something rather than simply being another name on the roll. I also believe that I can be popular or disliked on my own merit, based on my own opinions and actions.

That's not a popular belief. Many people believe that fitting in and being a team player (against your instincts) is the way to be. Their motto is to "go along to get along," regardless of whether someone or something (like the truth) is hurt or slighted in the process.

For example, there are Charlestonians who don't think I should ever mention the negative aspects of that town, just as there are blacks who feel I should never have anything but positive words to say about our race.

The same could be said about every person's affiliations. Who wants to see their bad side revealed or hear that they've made a mistake? Why would anyone voluntarily step forward and say "I was wrong" when the only possible result is punishment?

I once had a teacher who told me I did not represent my race, my church, or my family with each of my actions. You are an individual, she said, and as such, you are allowed to make mistakes. Your job is to learn from them and go on without beating yourself up about it.

I agree with all that, but I also believe that people are responsible for their personal and collective betterment. In my opinion, that betterment is only possible by seeking, preaching and acting on the truth. When we do any less, we are holding ourselves and our affiliations back.

I don't mean we can't make mistakes -- they're a part of life. However, when we or others who claim affiliation with us deny those mistakes or try to hide them, then we are no longer working actively to improve ourselves.

If we aren't trying to improve as individuals, how in the world can we improve our families, our organizations and our world?

Each of us has a responsibility to work hard to improve ourselves and our memberships, because that's how we show pride in who we are and what's important to us. Sometimes we make mistakes that need to be corrected and set to rights.

People make mistakes everyday, it's a part of life. It's how we deal with those mistakes that shape who we are and what we become. Every bad thing will come to light, and good or bad, it will affect you as well as your affiliations.

It's only fair that we -- as individuals and groups -- work to overcome rather than succumb.

~Tamara Zellars Buck is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.