BUCKING THE SYSTEM: REACHING A FEW IS A GOAL I THINK I CAN LIVE WITH

Even the best-laid plans can go awry, but sometimes Plan B can offer a welcome surprise.

When I was growing up, I never thought about one day becoming a mother or wife. I was going to save the world, meet the rich and famous, and write Pulitzer-worthy international news.

I'd look at my mom and think, "My life's going to be different." I didn't want to drive a family car, or dedicate my hours away from work to cooking and cleaning, or have to use my sick days to care for ailing infants.

Not that Mom's life was so bad, but I wanted more, and I thought kids and a husband would just tie me down.

Somewhere along the way I got sidetracked. I'm not sure what happened: All that I know is one by one my plans began to topple like so many card houses.

First of all, I decided being foreign correspondent wasn't the job for me. I think that decision was made about the same time people in other countries decided they were going to shoot, kidnap or maim anything American. That didn't have to be the end of my plans, though. My thirst for travel and intrigue still could have been sated here in America.

Then, however, I found out what love in the '90s would become. Unlike in the '80s -- when a woman like me often was forced to "settle" for what the skinny, light-skinned women didn't want -- 1990 was the dawning of a new era.

No longer did a man have to be 20 years older than me to appreciate my inner beauty, cocoa complexion or anything-but-svelte body. In fact, I learned that some men my age would actually prefer a woman of my size, skin complexion and intelligence.

I found me a man who likes big-footed, big-busted women, and I married him. That's when the last house caved in and I became pregnant.

About the same time I talked to my mom about how funny life is and how all my plans had gone awry. She just looked at me as if I were crazy and said, "Do you think I planned to live in Charleston?"

That's when I found out Mom had had similar dreams as a young woman. Her plan was also to save the world; not by writing, but as a Peace Corps volunteer. Unfortunately, (or fortunately in my case), she was sidetracked by a tall, skinny man who wore glasses.

Twenty-nine years later, she's still working at her first teaching job in a one-horse town that's not really close to anywhere. But I don't think Mom regrets her decisions to marry Dad or move to Charleston. In fact, I think she's pretty happy.

She may not be saving the world, but at least she's helping to make it better one child at a time.

Besides, she's got me, my sister Clarissa, a son-in-law and a grandchild. Life is good.

Although they weren't a part of my original plans, I can't imagine life without Patrick and Jerry. They're a part of me and they make me a better person. And although I'm not traveling, I think what I'm doing at work, in my church and in this community are significant.

As for saving the world, that's not out of reach yet. But even if I can't accomplish that goal, like Mom, I'll just try to do the best I can by sharing a piece of myself. If I can't reach everybody, I'll be happy just to reach a few.

That's a goal I think I can live with.

~Tamara Zellars Buck is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.