BUCKING THE SYSTEM: RAISING THE SUN, THE MOON AND YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE

I'm thinking about writing a book.

Most likely it'll be of the self-help variety akin to the well-loved "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" blockbuster. As with most self-help authors, I'm going to base my knowledge on real-life experiences formed during the short lives of my two children, Jerry and Patrick Jr., or PJ for short.

The tentative title of my tome is "Raising the Sun, the Moon and Your Blood Pressure: The Sanity Papers."

For those of you who don't know, Jerry, at 4 years old, is the Sun. This cocoa-brown little piece of joy effortlessly floats through the heavens of his life, unwittingly bestowing white-bright smiles that give just a small indication of his happy personality. Like the sun without the humidity, he is well-liked by his peers and no problem for baby sitters or other adults who care for him.

In writing about the Sun, I'd have to detail our best moments, like when he scoots across the bed seeking my body's warmth early on Sunday mornings just before the theme music blared out by the television signals the beginning of his (our) favorite network's preschool programming. And admittedly, sometimes there also are bad moments, like the times when he tells a lie because he expects a punishment (which, incidentally, he ultimately receives anyway).

But the Sun's bad times are never as bad as those of the Moon, which can prompt earthquakes, tidal waves and other sorts of natural disasters. Such is life with PJ, our 1-year old who turns 2 next month.

Life is PJ follows the phases of the Moon very closely. The brown-eyed one can appear at times to be so young and fragile, and at others, larger than life. His personality soaks up whatever emotion he feels at an exact instant much like the Moon soaks up sunlight, so you never know if the child will be loving, independent, jovial, despondent, or just plain obstinate, obstinate, obstinate.

In writing about the Moon, I'll have to describe his desire to be potty-trained but absolute refusal to sit on a miniature throne when there is such a large, family-sized version in the same room. I'll also have to describe how the Moon's changeability makes people want to like him but feel just a little put off by his power.

There is also the reaction by adults on the few occasions they've seen the Moon cry. Each time, there is the incredulous "I can't believe he's crying!" swiftly followed by "Tamara, what'd you do to him?" and numerous hugs and kisses and pieces of candy for the deceptive creature.

In fairness, the Moon does provide beauteous moments that cause mere mortals like me and my husband to reflect upon our lives. Take, for example, his gut-busting laughs that make you want to laugh right along with him. Or those changeable eyes that make you want to fall off into their innocence for a gravity-defying leap through space.

The problem is that the Sun and Moon rarely are in the sky at the same time. When one is at a high point, the other is getting down and dirty, causing the blood pressures of their parents to rise. In detailing this, I plan to include in my book the cure to maintaining good health and sanity.

It's quite simple really. You have to anticipate those few equinoxes in life, when the days and nights try to balance themselves out. These are the times when the kids actually get along, when the Sun and Moon appear to share the same skies, if for only a short while.

There will be days when the Sun and Moon both reach their zenith at once, and like any good miracle, these are the days for taking pictures and writing in journals. I haven't had many of these days so far, but I've survived a hot summer and I'm planning ahead for what looks to be a long, cold winter.

And, in the back of my mind, I remind myself that the sun and moon have stood the test of time, and so will Jerry and PJ.