BUCKING THE SYSTEM: QUALITY TIME CATCH OF THE DAY ON FATHER-DAUGHTER FISHING TRIPS

Just a few weeks ago, I told Patrick about a spat my parents had had many years ago. I guess I was a little prejudiced in my story, because afterwards Patrick told me my sister and I were always taking my mother's side.

"That's easy to do, because Dad's always wrong," I explained.

I guess it's not hard to see why I formed that opinion. For one thing, until Patrick joined the family, Dad was the only male. That wasn't the only distinguishing factor, though. Mom's career as a teacher meant she was home in the afternoon, on weekends and during the summer. She's the one who took us to church, practices, rehearsals and all of those other places kids have to go.

We didn't do much of that with Dad, because his career kept him away longer periods throughout the year. He also worked shifts, which meant he might be home, but we couldn't interact with him because he was asleep.

But you know, even though my dad wasn't at home as much as my mom, he still managed to do things with his girls. I remember all of the pictures he used to take on our birthdays and at Christmas. He might not know what gifts we were receiving, but he'd make sure to record the looks on our faces when we all found out.

And we've got tons of Easter pictures. There are the ones with our snaggle-toothed grins as we dyed Easter eggs, and then there are the others of us in our Easter dresses, posing out on the front lawn or on the steps of the house. Sometimes, he'd even make it to church, which meant pictures of us saying those wonderful Easter speeches.

But even better than those pictures were those early Sunday mornings when Dad went fishing. He's a FISHERMAN, which means he takes his sport seriously. I remember this man getting up at the crack of dawn after finishing a 12-hour shift to head out to somebody's lake or pond or ditch. He'd be gone all day, returning only when it got too dark to see the fish anymore.

But sometimes on those Sunday mornings I guess he missed us, because he'd shake my or Clarissa's shoulder (he never took us both on the same trip) and ask us if we wanted to go with him. We almost always said yes, because we missed him, too.

He must have really wanted to spend time with us, because I know we made his trips shorter and less successful. But he'd talk to us, and ask what was going on in our lives. Or sometimes, we wouldn't talk at all.

We'd just be together.

Jerry Buck woke up three days ago and followed me into the kitchen for his breakfast. All of a sudden, he ran into my bedroom, calling for his daddy with a big smile on his face. Patrick has been working a lot of overtime lately, and he was at work when this happened.

It was kind of sad, because he really expected to see Patrick in that bed. I was upset at first, but then I thought about growing up with my dad, and I realized that Jerry was going to be all right.

Patrick's there for Jerry in all the ways a daddy is supposed to be. A real dad, whether he's in the home or simply works a lot, understands the need for quality time. Mom may be the one who's there for the kids on a day-to-day basis, but a dad will find a way to make his time count.

Maybe Patrick and Jerry will have fishing trips similar to the ones Dad and I took, or maybe they'll find some other activity to do together. All I know is quality time was the real catch of the day on those trips with Dad.

~Tamara Zellars Buck is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.