BUCKING THE SYSTEM: PARENTS WANT THEI RCHILDREN TO HAVE MORE THAN THEY DID

My son Jerry is on a two-week vacationorama with my sister.

This unplanned trip began on Monday, when I met Clarissa in Tennessee so she could take him with her to visit friends in Birmingham, Ala.

I've talked to him every day since, and each time he has a new drama unfolding. With less than a week gone by, the child has already been to the movies and the mall, and he had great seats at a showing of Walt Disney on Ice.

This is very different from the childhood visits with relatives that I remember.

Visiting Ma Dear meant being able to smell bacon and biscuits cooking at the crack of dawn. It meant I was able to grab the last biscuit and dab of Delta molasses over the three cousins that lived at the house because I was "special company."

It also meant being sent outside for most of each summer day to play.

We drank water from the hose and learned ingenious ways to shade the spout so the water would come out a little cooler than the outside temperature. For lunch we had our pick of bologna, salami or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, all of which were served with chips on a napkin -- again outside.

We were only allowed into the house periodically to use the bathroom or to patch up a bee sting or a scraped knee. Then it was back outside with the rest of the kids.

Ma Dear didn't believe kids should stay in the house during the summer. Even me, the great reader, was sent outside with a book in hand and instructions to find some shade.

Neither she nor the other relatives we stayed with considered taking us anywhere on a regular basis. Sure, we took the occasional trip to the skating rink or mall, but those trips were to be savored.

They figured that we kids were our own best entertainment. And you know what? They were right.

I can remember all too well the talent shows my cousin Kim and I organized. We meticulously set up chairs in a cramped bedroom of the house and then went outside to practice all day for the big show.

Kim, a 10-year old who was already being recognized as a budding songstress, always managed to steal the show. She did let me on the stage, however, as long as I sang a low harmony to accompany her melody.

We made good music together, but that wasn't all there was to see. We modeled imaginary clothes, recited poetry or just demonstrated we could read. And we forced the younger kids and older boys to participate.

Every four years we staged our own summer Olympics that included bike presses to measure strength (I always won gold here), and watermelon-eating contests (my cousin, Pat, was the undisputed champion of the world).

We had no money to spend, but we usually had a good time together. Not that I begrudge Jerry his special vacations. After all, you're supposed to want your children to have better access to those kinds of things than you had.

I just don't want him to forget the simpler, cheaper ways of enjoying life.

Tamara Zellars Buck is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.