BUCKING THE SYSTEM: HAVING FALLING BABY MAKES FOR UNCOMFORTABLE SUMMER

I knew having a fall baby wouldn't make for the most comfortable pregnancy this summer, but I never expected the degree of suffering I would have to endure.

There's nothing like Mother Nature to help a woman to shed her inhibitions and forget her concerns about what others think. I can personally attest to this because Mother Nature, that witty girl, hit me with a double-whammy this summer: Hot, humid weather and the expectation of a baby not due until mid-November.

Virtually every mother (and probably a few empathetic fathers as well) can identify with me when I say pregnancy is complicated. Everything that happens to the mother physically, emotionally and mentally is amplified to the second power. Having said that, how do you think I'm feeling in all this wonderful heat?

Let's just say it's not pretty. I haven't been advertising my expectant state for several reasons, but anybody who knew me during my childhood and adolescent years would have guessed by now that something wasn't quite right.

Take for example my newfound love of dresses, skirts and other clothing not divided between the thighs. Anyone who knew young Tamara knew that she didn't do dresses. I couldn't climb trees or play football wearing a dress (well, I could, but my mom sort of frowned on that sort of behavior.) Neither could I sit with both feet planted comfortably on the floor, and that lace they loved to put at the neck and wrists always itched so bad.

But you know, I forgot all about disliking dresses about the same time the heat index ventured above 90 for the first time this month. "It's going to be a sundresses and sandals kind of summer," I announced to my family. "My whole body needs air."

Not only has my body needed extra air, it's also required many fewer layers of clothing and much more time spent in water. I've always enjoyed swimming, but in my adolescent years I ended that pastime because I didn't think anyone deserved to be subjected to a full-blown view of my convex stomach, shelf-like posterior and flabby thighs.

Now, however, it's quite a different story. Despite my mother's query of "Can you imagine how you're going to look in THAT?" when I announced my intent to order a maternity swimsuit, I'm wearing it and loving it every week. Whether my appearance appeals to others isn't at all as important as my need to provide another conveyance besides my swollen ankles to carry my body around.

Another inhibition that's fallen to the wayside has been my need to wear makeup everyday. I'm the woman who decided while in college that God invented beauty products to enhance the many fine faces he had created and give everyone else a much-needed pick-me-up. Because makeup was a gift from God, it wasn't to be neglected and should be applied daily, or so I thought.

Now, I'm back to that fresh-faced look I so often wore throughout high school. I justify neglecting this chore by telling myself I've got clear skin and ought to show it off, but the simple truth is I'm having hot flashes and sweating so hard these days the makeup is usually off within an hour anyway.

So much for natural beauty.

Ah well, at least I'm not alone in being Mother Nature's whipping post this summer. My co-worker Teresa is due in about three weeks, and she, too, has been trying to beat the heat this summer. What's worse, Teresa has been wearing pants all summer because she can't abide the thought of her pale legs showing beneath the hem of a skirt.

I win in that regard because the one thing I definitely am not is pale. Then again, Teresa's agony is near its end, while mine is just beginning.

Check and mate. Mother Nature wins again.

~Tamara Zellars Buck is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.