BUCKING THE SYSTEM: HAPPY MEMORIES FOR BRIDE AND GROOM TAKE WORK

Remember that special moment from your wedding day.

Maybe it was when you looked down the aisle and saw your intended looking at you in that way that only almost-married folks look at each other. Or maybe it was when your new spouse mushed you in the face with the wedding cake just as the photographer snapped a picture. Or maybe it was when there was nobody left but the two of you and it finally hit you that you were finally married.

None of the above applied to me.

I had no favorite moment during my wedding because , quite frankly, I enjoyed all of it. I was a happy bride from the beginning and enjoyed everything, from the moment I decided I wanted a wedding gown instead of a nice suit, to the attention I received from my attendants, even through the rushed reception we had to have in order for the owner of the reception hall to get the movie theater open on time (don't you just love small towns?).I'm hoping my friends Stephanie and Reggie will experience a similar euphoria as they tie the knot today. For the first time, I'll be participating in a wedding in a role other than hostess or soloist, and I'm very excited for them and for me.

You see, I've seen several friends and acquaintances get married this year, all with varying degrees of success. I'm referring to the weddings, of course, and not the marriages.

At any rate, after talking to all these people, I realized that I was blessed, because not everyone gets a special moment in their wedding, mainly because somehow they get lost in the shuffle.

We've all seen it: Groomsmen arrive late, the bridesmaids have a last minute brawl over eyeliner, or the parents refuse to speak to each other. Whatever the situation, the end result is people forget that the bride and groom are the priority.

That's really a shame, considering the fact brides and grooms try to surround themselves with people they love who also love them. They figure people will do right because that's what they're supposed to do. Unfortunately, that's not how human nature works.

Basically, it takes work to make a wedding work. Attendants have to spend money without hope of return, show up on time for a number of activities, stand in uncomfortable shoes and uncomfortable, spandex-consumed body armor for long periods of time, and kiss the feet (and whatever other portions of their anatomy) of the bride and groom.

It's a thankless job, unless you count the happy memories of the bride and groom.

Hopefully, Stephanie and Reggie will have many years to reflect on their special day. I think they picked a good group of loved ones to surround themselves with, and hopefully, we'll do everything we're supposed to do.

I know I'm going to try, at least as long as my body armor and my shoes will let me.

Tamara Zellars Buck is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.