BUCKING THE SYSTEM: GRANNY BACK IN SYNC WITH FASHION'S PENDULUM

My friend Carol and I were sitting in the drive-through of a local restaurant recently when we saw what looked like a pre-fame Madonna walking into the dining area.

Carol and I looked from the ground up at the teen-aged girl's black combat boots, white opaque pantyhose, miniskirt full of zippers and white tanktop. Then we looked at her chalky white face with ruby red lipstick and bright blue eyeshadow.

We started laughing and making disparaging comments, and then it dawned on me.

"Carol, she looks just like we did in the '80s," I said.

It's amazing the number of twists and turns fashion will take over the years. I swore as a teenager in the '80s that I'd never be caught dead in a pair of the "grandma shoes" or bellbottoms my mother wore, and look what happened. I wore a pair of wide-legged jeans until my husband asked me to please not put those pants on anymore, and every pair of shoes in my closet has a heel wide enough to support an elephant's foot.

As a little girl I hated just about every item my mom bought that suggested femininity. I didn't want anything to do with lace, frills, tucks or bows, and I can remember a few choice dresses that were accidentally destroyed by stains or fire.

That attitude has changed with the passage of time. I'm still not crazy about lace, but I've learned that there's nothing wrong with looking feminine, especially when you've got a husband that likes to give compliments. I've also learned that the right dress can disguise problem areas and make a hot day much more bearable.

I don't know how Jerry feels about fashion right now, but I'm sure one day he'll be imploring me to "take down that awful picture" the same as I to this day beg my parents to get those first-grade photos out of their wallets. There must be something about victimizing your children that parents enjoy, and I'm looking forward to seeing Jerry cringe in horror when I pull out the photo album of him in one of his many OUTFITS.

I capitalized the word outfits because that's the correct terminology for the clothes he wears on special occasions. Although I'm his mother, I'm not responsible for these clothes. Jerry will have only his grandmother to blame for the theme clothing he wore in his first years.

For example, Jerry has a special sailor outfit, a safari outfit, and even a railroad engineer outfit, all complete with the appropriate hats. Sometimes my mom even buys two outfits in different sizes so that he can begin wearing one after he grows out of the other.

At first I tried to stop her, but this is the woman's first grandchild and she's on a mission. My dad still tries to intervene. He's forever telling mom to "stop putting those costumes on the boy."

One day he'll realize he that he has no say in the matter when it comes to fashion.

I've always thought mom had pretty good taste even though she didn't understand me during my teen-aged years. Now that I have a whole family to dress, I (and all of my coworkers) think she has wonderful taste and appreciate every outfit that comes my way.

It'll be interesting later on to see how much Jerry appreciates the physical evidence of his having been granny's fashion plate as a child.

~Tamara Zellars Buck is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.