BUCKING THE SYSTEM: GIRDING THE STAFF TO COVER THE SEMO DISTRICT FAIR

It's SEMO District Fair time in Cape Girardeau.

It didn't take this month's Tip Off magazine to tell me that, or even the preview stories we've been running in the newspaper.

No, I knew it was fair time because of The E-mail. Note the capitalization there, because it's important.

Anyone who works in an office where the boss has access to an interoffice e-mail system knows nearly everything coming from the boss' address means work for the poor recipient. Especially when the message has a very short subject heading or worse, no subject heading at all.

Such was the case when our newsroom received the message from on high that carried the subject line "Fair Assignments." I think two other reporters got the message at the same time I did, because I heard one person start mumbling to himself about daily attendance and cow manure, while another started talking about all the work that would prohibit him from coming within two miles of the fair any single day next week.

I, too, took a deep breath before opening the message. Dear God, please don't make me cover ... I thought to myself. Any number of subjects could have been inserted at the end of that sentence.

Not that I mind covering the fair. Last year I had a great time crowding my adult-sized body into kiddie rides and writing a review about my experiences. It made for a fun afternoon and great story.

There are any number of reasons, including the Midway, the concession stands and the circus, that make the fair exactly the type of event I enjoy writing stories about. Just the sheer number of people in attendance and the ability to wander aimlessly through the crowds is enjoyable to me.

Not to mention the fact I am a mommy. Fairs make mommies and daddies near-demi-gods in the eyes of their kids.

Think about it. We provide the transportation, the tickets, the obligatory stuffed animal from a carnival booth, and lots of extremely-unhealthy-but-wonderfully-tasty treats to eat.

Who wouldn't love their parents or the fair committee, for that matter?

But there are so many other things that I'm just not into that go on at the fair. Like, for example, anything having to do with raising animals or plants or building something with my own two hands. Neither do I care very much for the hazards I have to walk through or the smells I must endure to get to those areas.

Don't get me wrong, I'll do it if I have to, and with the appropriate level of interest and even participation. But even as a country child, I had problems with hog troughs and cow patches, and those aren't anything I really have a hankering to reexperience in adulthood.

Neither am I knowledgeable in the ways of the people who participate in the various pageants, exotic animal petting zoos, or tractor displays. Again, it's not my interest, although I dutiful make the rounds with my children every year.

But I guess that's the great thing about the SEMO District Fair and similar events. There's a hodgepodge of activities scheduled that are sure to interest even the biggest newsroom cynic. We might complain about the heat and the parking and the smells and the crowds, but in reality we wouldn't miss it for the world.

By the way, my assignment this year is the Mule Hitch Challenge. I've got no idea what it is or how to dress for it.

I'm sure I'll love it.

Tamara Zellars Buck is a staffwriter for the Southeast Missourian.