BUCKING THE SYSTEM; 'DATE NIGHT' WITH SPOUSE MENDS ARMOR

There's nothing like a good date with your husband to make you invincible again.

I have been having a rough couple of months trying to manage family and career and school and civic work. What I've learned is that even Wonder Woman had her limitations. Hers happened to be chunky red knee boots and an ugly, ugly wardrobe. My limitations of time, money and energy are much more important and reality-based.

I guess my best girlfriends had been having similarly-rotten months of late, because we've started talking a lot about how life was before we had children and after we found our soulmates.

We talked about date nights, those special evenings when we'd take extra care with our hair and makeup and put on that special outfit guaranteed to make their eyes water. Those were the nights when the men would open the car doors and take special care with the music selection, usually finding just the right R&B or jazz groove to make us catch their eye and smile.

We haven't had many date nights since becoming married with children.

The chores of deciding what to do, finding a baby sitter, dropping the kids off, returning home to get dressed, getting back in a reasonable hour, paying the baby sitter, putting comatose kids in uncomfortable child seats, lifting them out of carseats and getting them into the house only to have them wake up demanding juice, finding sippy cups in places sippy cups just aren't supposed to be, filling the cups and getting the drowsy kids to drink, reading a book and turning on Cartoon Network so they'll lay down -- well, in most cases it's just not worth the effort.

But two weeks ago we decided to try it again. One of my girlfriends wanted to have a big, couples-only shindig at the bar-and-grill where everybody knows our name for her husband's birthday, and she gave us two weeks to find baby sitters and take care of other pre-date chores.

Unbeknownst to my friend, her husband had contacted us regarding a surprise anniversary celebration and scheduled a similar shindig. And instead of the regular bar-and-grill routine, he wanted everybody to dress up and go to a formal dinner.

I liked this idea much better. Going out is fun, but dressing up automatically kicks our husbands into chivalry mode, which means opened doors, poetic compliments and hand-holding are prevalent throughout the evening.

I haven't left work yet, but I can tell you the evening was perfect. I love spending time with my husband, because it reminds me why I decided to marry him in the first place. I already have that special outfit in mind, and I can guarantee you he's already preprogrammed the CD player.

I'm not planning on wearing red boots this weekend -- heck, I don't even own a pair. Even so, I'm betting I'll be back to my invincible self again after this weekend.

Tamara Zellars Buck is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.