BUCKING THE SYSTEM: BEING NONCOMMUNICATIVE IN THE AGE OF COMMUNICATION

We have seen many developments in communication in the past 15 years. Rotary telephones have been replaced with touch tone, cordless and cell phones, and for a monthly fee companies will connect all your communication modes to make sure you get "the call."

I never was really big on using the telephone, I guess because I preferred face-to-face communication. I like to read facial expressions and body language, and you just can't do that over the phone. Of course, there was also the fact that Charleston was so small I was guaranteed to see virtually anyone I would want to talk to simply by going to school, the post office, choir practice or Reeves Boomland.

There were people I'd rather not see, but I usually avoided them fairly easily. If I saw their car first, I'd bypass that stop, and I could always lock my door, peek out of the front window without allowing myself to be seen, and only open my door to people I wanted to talk to.

Of course, I don't do that anymore.

When I graduated from high school in 1989, Charleston residents were still dialing only five digits to contact each other. It was completely different at Mizzou, where I not only had to dial seven digits, but also had to select the correct three-digit exchange to use.

The telephone change was really a traumatic experience for me. Do you know how hard it was to place a simple pizza delivery order? I had to figure out where I was, where the pizza place was, and which telephone number to use. And that was after I managed to get everyone to ante up the money we needed and make a decision on the pizza toppings.

Of course, technology did have its advantages. For instance, I bought my first answering machine after only one year in college, and I loved it because it gave me the distance I needed to keep from having to chat about nothing with people I didn't really like anyway.

I even got so bold as to leave messages announcing I was screening calls, and I'd pick up the phone if I felt like talking. Believe it or not, I didn't lose too many friends over that message.

I guess some people are gluttons for punishment.

Soon after my answering machine purchase, caller id entered center stage, and I had yet another way of distancing myself from unwanted conversations. The answering machine was great, but there were only so many times I could say it wasn't working before people realized I wase lying.

Not so with caller id. That innovation is small and can be hidden, so there are no tell-tale beeps to incriminate me. The telephone never has to be answered, and there has been many a night when I've checked the box, seen the caller's name, and vehemently shook my head before turning up the television.

Sure, the telephone companies tried to circumvent that by permitting messages that say "unavailable" or "anonymous call," but those are calls I don't feel obligated to answer. I figure they are usually made by people who want or need their identities to be hidden, like telemarketers or bill collectors.

Who needs that problem?

Now we're in the computer age, and I've been bitten by the e-mail bug. I enjoy reading short posts from relatives and friends I rarely hear from, and I've even received a couple of news tips from this wonderful invention.

Of course, not everything is wonderful about e-mail. I'm starting to get the same unwanted solicitations and conversations that I've learned to avoid via visits and telephone calls, and I haven't yet learned how to avoid them.

The communication is indirect and it's not like I have to return the posts, but somehow they are even more annoying than the phone calls and the visits. These people are in my house or workplace before I get that, and it's kind of creepy.

I'm not going to junk my computer just because some people have bested me at my own game, though. Eventually, there'll be a way to avoid unwanted e-mail that's also in my price range.

Maybe I'll do what I do now, and get an unlisted e-mail address to match my unlisted telephone number. Until then, I guess I'll keep peeking out the curtains until I know for sure who it is.

~Tamara Zellars Buck is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.