BUCKING THE SYSTEM; BECOMING BEST FRIENDS IS WHAT SISTERS DO BEST

Sometimes I wish all women had a sister. Not because my life is better than theirs or they are living a life that's incomplete or anything, but there's something magical about the bond that can be created between sisters that defies words.

I haven't always felt this way. I remember fighting quite often with my sister, Clarissa, when we were kids. I distinctly remember some 10 times during my Blue Funk years when I would run into my room, close the door, and sit with my back to it trying to get away from Clarissa.

In a way only little sisters can do, she would sit outside my door and sing at the top of her lungs the most hated song in the world: Did You Feed My Cow?

Yes, it was as bad as it sounds.

Despite those memories which sometimes still haunt me, Clarissa and I have become extremely close. Maybe it's because we had no other siblings, but I believe it's because we are sisters, and that's what sisters do as they age.

I've seen this magic many times over the years. Our best example was set by our mother, whose best friend to this day is Thelma, one of her six sisters. These two are close in age and amazingly have never had a real fight. They still go through each other's closets borrowing clothes, sit and talk and laugh for hours about nothing, and call or visit each other when they need support.

Similarly, our pseudo-sisters Michelle and Felecia will go through great lengths to get to each other. We all grew up together like a family, and everything Clarissa and I did in terms of giving compliments and support and approval and disapproval and reality checks and depression-lifters and sweet nothings and hell and bruises and money and all of the other things that sisters give each other was duplicated in their relationship.

I don't guess I really thought about the magic of sisterhood until several months ago, when my beautician made a comment while Clarissa and I were in the shop.

"I've never seen women act like that before," she said out of the blue. I had no idea what she was talking about, as Clarissa and I had been having a conversation about what we liked about our appearance.

"You're just sitting there giving each other compliments. Every time I see you y'all are complimenting each other and talking about how much you like each other and things like that. That's just not normal."

Actually, I think it's more normal than she realized. How many times had I sat in one of her chairs and watched her interacting with her sister in just such a manner? And I remember when she moved out of town for a while. Her sister was miserable and spent a lot of time planning trips to see her "just to check on things."

Like I said, there's something magical about being a sister. It's full of headaches and responsibility, but the benefits are just too many to mention. There is, of course, a silver lining for women who don't have sisters.

It's called a best friend. But that's another column.

Tamara Zellars Buck is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.