BUCKING THE SYSTEM: ALERT PARENTS LEARN A LOT ABOUT BODY LANGUAGE AND MOOD SWINGS

It's amazing the things a mother knows.

I guess maybe I should substitute the word parent in that sentence, but honestly, it's been my experience that it is a mother's job to pick up on anything that might remotely involve her children.

Take for example, my knowledge of popular cartoon characters. I know all about the Rugrats, Cat-Dog, Tigger and the Thornberries, and I can tell you without hesitancy which characters I will be able to find on video, clothing or popular food or cereal packages.

This is a learned behavior. As a single girl and newlywed, I could not be bothered with the above, although I must confess to occasionally watching the Cartoon Network and Saturday morning children's programming. As soon as Jerry learned to talk, however, I began watching his favorite shows in earnest so that I could understand what his squeals and grunts meant as we walked through stores.

But this isn't just about cartoon characters. Parents who are on their jobs learn lots about behaviors and body language and mood swings.

Take, for example, my own experiences this week. I had to pick Jerry up from school earlier this week because he didn't feel good. Well, that lasted only a few hours, and he was back to his old self by the following morning. That is, until he learned that his dad had much of the day off and planned to stay home and enjoy the spring-like weather.

"I don't feel good," Jerry announced.

"Maybe he should stay home," my husband said.

"Jerry, if you stay home you'll miss Tumbletown at school," I quipped with an extra twist to my curling iron.

"'Bye, Daddy," Jerry said as he pulled on his coat.

Left to his father's pleasure, Jerry would have stayed home and had all the candy he cared to eat. Luckily, however, I was in place and on my job.

And then there's PJ. My beloved 1-year old talks/whines in his sleep, but to the untrained ear, it sounds like he is crying or in pain. Sometimes he is awake and simply wants attention or to sleep with whichever adult is nearby, but it takes a veteran to know the difference.

My parents' often allow him into their bed, even when he isn't conscious of his nocturnal noises. And Patrick -- well, whatever shuts the child up quickest is usually the way to go at 3 a.m.

As for me, I wait. If he needs me, I'm there. Otherwise, I usually have no problem ignoring the whimperings and getting the extra shut-eye.

I also know when my sons are hitting each other as part of some strange play they're enacting, and when PJ has hit Jerry because Jerry has Kool-Aid left in his cup. They are boys, so this scenario occurs almost every day.

I consider parents, and more specifically mothers, to be social scientists who conduct intensive, individual research. That research is equally important to anything Dr. Spock and many others write about.

In fact, if we all got together, shared our conclusions and found someone to take us seriously, we just might find a solution to some of the problems our communities face. Maybe we could attach a file to our children's records so administrators and teachers would know how to handle certain behaviors, or maybe mothers-in-law could share such lists with their child's intended prior to the wedding.

Who knows, it might result in better discipline in schools, lower prison populations and fewer divorces and separations.

You know, I think I actually surprised myself with this one.

Tamara Zellars Buck is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.