BUCKING THE SYSTEM

If it's called settling down, why does it require so much energy?

Ever since I finally admitted that I actually live in Cape Girardeau and am not just passing through, my life has been a series of major events. Just as everything was again becoming calm, two big events this month have let me know that the phrase "settling down" is very misleading.

Take for example, my married life. Patrick and I are now an old married couple of three years and two months, and our lives are more hectic now than they've ever been. We've got two full-time jobs with erratic schedules, an infant and a toddler, and ends that wave at each other occasionally but rarely ever to meet.

Now, just to add a little flavor to the maelstrom, we're trying to buy a house.

Right now, we're renting the house Patrick was raised in. It's a fixer-upper that has lots of room for a family of four to roll around in, but I never saw myself buying it. Patrick's been talking about it forever, however, and finally, the decision was taken out of my hands by a higher power.

Now we're trying to buy the place. Forget the fact that we have few savings, borderline credit and no money: We've got hope, and for us, that's more than enough.

I never knew how hectic purchasing a home could be. Since we found out our credit wasn't great but not abysmal, and that we actually might be able to get this house, we've been caught in a constant cycle of chasing down information, signing paperwork and plotting our financial future.

What with all my work, family and purchasing obligations, I've had to let the housework go, which means my friends have not been allowed to visit the very building I'm putting so much energy into.

And on top of all this, the second big event in my life is underway. After keeping the secret for several months (quite a feat on my part, I might add), The Clique finally was able to watch two of our members get engaged over Valentine's Day weekend.

After everybody stopped crying, we realized that the marriage of Reggie Williamson and Stephanie Drummond was going to be the first event of any magnitude since we all became a family. And God bless them, they think I've got what it takes to coordinate the shindig.

Oh, the pressure. I want them to have more than cookies and Kool-Aid at their wedding, but I also want to reclaim my house from the trash and dirty dishes that are taking over, and I'd like for it to really be My House in the near future.

So what I want know is this: Why do we talk about settling down when that's the last thing that appears to be happening? Why does settling down take so much energy?

The world may never know, because I just don't have time to do the research. For now, I've given up my dream of installing central heat and air conditioning, and of finishing the basement so I can turn it into a family room.

All I want is the house. Oh yeah, and I need to lose some weight so I look decent in this bridal attendant's gown.

As my mom is fond of saying, the rest will come with time.

~Tamara Zellars Buck is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.