AT HOPE & MAIN: MOTHER'S LOVE TAUGHT LESSON

How can one begin to describe the host of emotions wrapped up in the word Mom? One fact is true: Few people really appreciate their Moms until they leave the nest.

Growing up on Long Island for many families meant spending your vacation on the beach. It was there I learned many valuable lessons; one of them was in bravery, and that I learned from my Mom. You see, I was kind of a shy, quiet, unadventurous child; my Mom encouraged me to move away from that.

On a typical beach day we'd rush around, pack lunches and get there by 9 a.m. -- early by New York standards -- before the most desirable parking lots were full. The beaches, with a short walk down to the water's edge, filled up fast! We'd pile into the back seat like typical kids, fight about seating, are we there yet, whatever. Having lived through this, I know this first leg of the trip can wear you out. When we got there, if the waves were too big or the undertow too strong, we'd have to go to the bayside or pool.

On an ocean day -- which we'd always wish for -- we'd swim out past the breakers, but only with an adult. In the summertime, out past the breakers was one of the most exciting places to be. It was hot fun in the summertime. Out past the breakers, the water would be up to your neck. With good waves you'd be in constant anticipation; every move you made would affect the next. The height of the wave and the distances between you were very important factors. For a while you really do need an adult teaching you how to evaluate the best plan so as not to wipe-out -- and what to do if you do. And isn't that what responsible parents aim to teach their children but on a much broader scale? Learning how to ride the waves, dive into them or what to do when you wipe-out is symbolic of life's day-to-day journey. Most importantly, though, it is great fun!

When you're out past the breakers and the wave is manageable, you just kind of jump up and tread water, floating along with the wave. This kind of activity is most appreciated when it serves as a rest between a good bout of challenging waves. When the ocean is rough, you have waves that crest really high, and they follow in succession at a fast pace. You have to be ready. You must learn to judge the distance between you and the wave, how much time you have before it breaks and move accordingly. If you see it's going to break right on you, you dive into the base of it and swim through it. If it's cresting really high and you have time to move up into its crest, you get to ride it in. On a big wave it's really great fun.

Sometimes the ocean is rough or you get messed up and don't judge it right. Sometimes the tide is changing, and the timing of the waves changes. This is wipe-out time. You have to learn to be brave because the thrill of the experience always outweighs the risk. The thing to remember about wipe-outs is don't panic.

When it came time to teach these maneuvers to my own children, I became a chicken. I tried to avoid it by building endless sand castles and such. When wipe-out occurs, you end up underwater, getting knocked around for what seems like ever and inevitably end up with a mouth and bathing suit full of sand. Just being within the turmoil of a crashing wave and wondering if you'll ever come up for air is enough to make you hand in your resignation for water oriented activities. However, that just doesn't happen. Once you've felt that joy and relief of having survived a wipe-out, you're back at it faster than I can say Yankee Doodle.

When I got scared out there in the ocean, my Mom taught me to -- long before Nike said it -- just do it. You had to act and you had better do it quick. Always make the best choice you can.

After several hours of frolicking in the ocean and swallowing water, you'd become waterlogged. The symptoms were a really sore throat, absolute hunger and absolute weariness. Perhaps this was the underlying reason for recreational seaside activities. Honestly, I believe the motivator was love.

The hours we spent by the seaside were meant to let us have fun. What I never appreciated until I was a Mother myself was the courage it took to teach a child, inexperienced at swimming, dealing with panic, etc., how to enjoy the ocean and not drown.

My Mom is generally a serious person, yet she knew how important fun was. She offered what she knew about it and put her children's interests in front of hers. That was love. Learning how to call the waves helped me learn how to call real situations in life. My Mom really taught me how to just do it, and for that I am forever grateful. Happy Mother's Day, Mom.