Appreciating beauty doesn't require buying it

I am happier when I have less.

Let me explain. The other day, I bought a few things from a store. I didn't need the items, but I thought they were pretty. Instead of feeling satisfied by my purchases, however, I felt sad and a little bit guilty I spent money on bringing more things into my life when I already had other similar items I didn't use. It felt wasteful to our environment and to other people, as well as to my time.

It was a moment in which I realized how good our culture has become at brainwashing us into believing material things should make us happy. Even amidst acknowledging my own saddened and slightly stressed feelings, it was tempting to dismiss them rather than listen to them and let them lead me to the deeper truth: I don't have to buy things.

It's how I often feel when I buy things I don't need: I want to cultivate a healthy poverty and detachment from material possessions, and yet, my desire to attain and possess beautiful things counters my good intentions. It's a struggle.

I don't think desiring beautiful things is a bad desire, perhaps just misplaced. If all good, beautiful and true things are reminiscent of God, they point us to God; they remind us who we were made for and also that we don't have the fullness of eternity yet. They are echoes in our hearts, perhaps, of the depth of beauty we are made for that will someday be ours when we see our God face to face. But for now, we see partially, as in a mirror. Perhaps this is where part of my sadness comes from: these beautiful items that can only partially show me my God are a reminder of our exile from Eden. I know what I ought to do, and yet, I don't choose it.

Let me be clear: I am not condemning shopping, having or buying beautiful things; I think there is value in these activities in their proper place. It is our attitude toward it, maybe, that matters. Are we expecting the things we buy to fill us up and satisfy us? Do the things we buy lead us deeper into God and community or solidarity with others, or further away? Do we feel freed or gifted by our purchases, or do we feel made a slave?

In the book "A Bunch of Pretty Things I Did Not Buy," Sarah Lazarovic writes just because something is beautiful does not mean we have to possess it. Deciding not to buy something does not detract from its beauty or from our own; we can appreciate a beautiful thing and then walk away, completely OK.

There is freedom in that knowledge, I think.

Saying no to purchases that make us feel enslaved is also a practice in actually trusting God to provide all we need. I am reminded of the words our Lord said to Martha in Luke 10:41-42 (NAB): "You are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing." Let's make all our decisions at the feet of Jesus. If we're choosing him, we know we are choosing what is good and right and beautiful.